LessThanOurTweets

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

If Endurance Sports Were a Monthly "Graphic Novel"

Behold: Denis Nizhegorodov.

The picture to the left appeared on the IAAF website in conjunction with the 23rd World Race Walking Cup, which, as you all know, was held in Cheboksary this past weekend. I know I don't even need to point out in what country one can find Cheboksary.

Having seen the old WR obliterated, the headline over the photo read "Super-human Nizhegorodov hammers Deakes' World record into history." Now I imagine many of you have already begun poo-pooing the notion that there could be anything the least bit super-human about the activity of walking. But there is! Read on, fair reader, to discover why the Supermanesque red and blue of Nizhegor-whatever's kit, is really so very fitting...

"Super-human" - from the Latin for "really good human." As we all know from popular culture, to be consider "super-human," a person must possess a mind and/or body which exceeds that of a typical human. In this case, Nizhegor-god-that's-a-mouthful can lay claim on account of both mind and body. Below, we break down the above photo:

To quote the IAAF recap: "mental steel reinforced with iron thread..."





To be sure, after bringing home this WR, Nizhegorodov's existence promises to be little more than "workloads" and "insertion points" for the foreseeable future.











Americans, prepare to fear "Sputnizhegorodov"... this Russian satellite will be made exclusively of Denis' bones, and once it's up in space, there's no telling when, or where it will strike...











See, you learn something new everyday.







Hey-O!

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