This Weekend in Running: Fearless Predictions

We here at Less Than Our Best are concerned with very little. One of those few interests is a relaxing game of tennis. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. After the jump, a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

1) Now that we know who is actually racing in the US 10k champs this weekend, here is how they will finish:

1. Alan Culpepper (he loves coming out of nowhere to win non-track US championships)

2. Abdi Abdirahman (he loves waiting until everyone has sufficiently forgotten that he is one of the best US distance runners ever, then resurfacing at the US track champs and in Europe somewhere to run 27:22)

3. Fasil Bizuneh (he loves participating in road races and finishing near the front)

4. Fernando Cabada (he loves youtube)

5. Matt Gabrielson (he loves the Mall of America, probably)

2) Alan Webb accidentally eats a candle at the pre-race banquet, wins the Carlsbad 5k the next day, thousands of high school kids seek medical attention for excess wax consumption.

3) The Stanford Invitational 10k this weekend will result in a staggering number of PRs. Skeptical, the Cal track coach finally rememebrs to bring his measuring wheel, takes a lap around the track with it, proves that the track is actually 380 meters. No one listens to his shouting it from the rooftops. It's don't ask don't tell over there at Stanford.

***Special Predictions for Less Than Our Best as we enter the second half of our first year:

1) This weekend's "Half-Year Anniversary Celebration Party" is going to be a complete success. If you're asking "where's the party?" Here's a hint: In my pants. Jeremy was not invited.

1b) After no one shows up, I can the "pants" theme and decide to
have a "Monster Bash." Dracula doesn't show up. Bitch.

2) The LTOB staff will eventually get so influential in the running world that, drunk on their new power, they decide to make the beer mile a new Olympic event in 2012. Todd Williams comes out of retirement and wins Gold.

3) After luring Jake away from Lets-Krong just long enough, LTOB swallows Lets-Krong.com and does away with all 'Lost' posts (Some of us are trying to get through it on DVD and don't appreciate the spoilers).