Friday, April 18, 2008

Fearless Predictions: "Park ya Caahh in the Yaahhd" Boston Edition

We here at Less Than Our Best are concerned with very little. One of those few interests is "Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis." The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

Ladies and Gentlemen, your USA women's Olympic marathon team:

1) Deena Kastor. I don't know if the word lock properly describes how automatic this is. How about, "Patriots in Super Bowl XLII?" Oh wait... Maybe not so automatic. No, never mind, it's a lock.

2) Kate O'Neill. Was 3rd in the intense heat of Chicago this past fall. Grew up in Boston. Went to Yale. Is most likely very Irish.
Has a pretty famous cousin. I think we can all agree she's in.

3) Elva Dryer. She's been to the Olympics before, right?

In Mt. SAC action...

4) Khadevis Robinson runs 3:48 in the slow heat of the 1500. Inspired, Jeremy Wariner hops in an 800 heat and runs 1:48. Doubly inspired, Tegenkamp sets the American record in the 10,000 with his 27:08. Triply inspired, I go on an ether binge that takes me into next Tuesday. Finally, everyone on the message boards get their wish.

In Boston action (LTOB will be there over the weekend to taste their beans, we hear they're pretty good)...

5) The fact that the splooge-fest that was the London marathon went down last weekend combined with the anemic-at-best elite field at the Boston marathon on Monday, makes me less excited for the "grand-daddy of them all." (Yes, if by grandaddy you mean oldest, slowest and most out of touch with the times of all the marathon majors, then yes "grand-daddy" it is). Therefore, my prediction is that I get caught by my boss watching the live feed at work on Monday, making LTOB my full time job and an abondoned refrigerator box my full-time residence (thanks Maytag!).

6) While in Boston this weekend, Jeremy and I,
two men from opposite sides of the law, go undercover within the Massachusetts State Police and the Irish mafia, but violence and bloodshed boil when discoveries are made, and the moles (read: Matt Taylor) are dispatched to find out their enemy's identities.


Jesse said...

Great work on your predictions, especially the Khadevis one... Oh wait, what's that? He ran Thursday before this was even posted and ran 3:46? Nice research!

ben said...

I actually wrote all of my predictions back in '97, thats why some of them are a bit off, things happen. They just dont get posted until fridays.

Jeremy said...

This is nothing new - we predicted that Tariku Bekele would win World Cross well after the start lists were out, sans his name. Did it stop us from trying again? No. Did it stop us from screwing up again? No. Will all be set right at the end of time and you will see us for the clairvoyant geniuses that we are? Also no. But we can keep hoping...

Jesse said...