LessThanOurTweets

Friday, April 11, 2008

Fearless Predictions: File Your Taxes Edition

We here at Less Than Our Best are concerned with very little. One of those few interests is Larry Legend dropping rhymes. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

1) Ryan Hall wins the London marathon in 2:06.14. After the most intense LIVE BLOG BEER BASH in internet history, we hold a special Champagne toast at LTOB headquarters (you're all invited) at approximately 6:51am Eastern Standard Time. Afterwards, Jeremy proclaims: "Let's keep this party going...You're ALL invited!!" No one is there except the old Greek guy that cuts my hair down the street. I am able to get half a Budweiser tall boy down with Mr. Popadopolis before I pass out in a gutter. With a smile on my face.

2) As Hall makes his way toward the finish line in London, victory well in hand, the following picture is snapped and runs in all American Newspapers Monday morning, creating much hostility between the English and USA.



London Marathon champion, Ryan Hall, left hanging as bitter Britons refuse to give it up.
(thanks to reader "Seth" for this tip)

3) At approximately 6:52am EST, letsrun.com explodes the entire internet. It is never mentioned again (neither letsrun NOR the internet). The last person seen in the message board, a man simply known as RunningArt2004 describes the final scene in the popular forum as "chilling" and "boners galore"

4) In other action, some people race at the Sea Ray Relays and some other places. No one is impressed.

5) Inspired by the Golden Boy's performance in London, American youth put down their footballs and basketballs and pick up their heart monitors and inhalers. American 20 somethings quit their high salary business jobs to live in the woods to train full time and chase their dreams. American Moms and Dads of adult children collectively groan, roll their eyes, and go bankrupt.

3 comments:

Jesse said...

I like the 3rd prediction best! I got a hearty chuckle out of it.

hutch said...

I think the best part about the term "boners galore" is that it paints such a vivid and unavoidable mental picture. Bravo, Givingless, for another round of fearless predictions that I'm sure will in no way make us all feel stupid in less than 24 hours.

The look of joy and wonder on the faces of Wiety and I in that picture still makes me laugh.

Jesse said...

Could we be overlooking a huge thing in that picture? The obvious fact that Hall is giving a Nazi salute to the crowd?