Monday, February 25, 2008

What They Didn't Tell You: Oscars Edition

Here goes: the last movie-related post probably for the rest of LTOB's life. Or at least until next January when the only running going on is the annual JCC Race Which Shall Not Be Named 5k, held up each winter on the streets of Washington Heights. So, until the Tony Awards: putting the 2007 Oscars season to bed... after the jump...

I did a terrible job of handicapping the Oscars, woefully underestimating Hollywood's collective desire to be different. To be individuals. To be assholes, and cost me both cash considerations and an all-expenses-paid trip to the premiere of Wall-E. Which looks delightful. Also, the idiots in Hollywood gave us the biggest butchery of the cinematography Oscar since Brokeback Mountain. Until folks in Tinseltown learn that shooting broad landscapes does not equal great cinematography, they should just stop giving out this award, because, as it currently stands, its a joke. Not only was the camera work in There Will Be Blood not the best of the year, ONE MAN shot TWO MOVIES in THE SAME FUCKING YEAR that had VASTLY better cinematography. If I were Roger Deakins, the genius behind the camera for No Country and The Assassination of Jesse James, I would quit this business and go sell carpet somewhere. Utterly inexplicable.

However, the upshot of the night was that at least they got Best Picture right with No Country For Old Men. If the Academy had given it to that festering pile of self-important fecal matter, There Will Be Tedium, they might as well have just scrapped whatever pretense is left and turned themselves into the Grammys for Movies, with Oscars just given out according to the box office take of the movies in each respective category.

So, in this edition of What They Didn't Tell You, what I didn't tell you -- my Top 10 for the year...

10. Eastern Promises
09. American Gangster
08. Michael Clayton
07. 3:10 to Yuma
06. Assassination of Jesse James
05. Atonement
04. Daniel Day-Lewis' performance in TWBB
03. Zodiac
02. The Wind That Shakes the Barley
01. No Country For Old Men

Honorable Mention: Once, Juno, I'm Not There
Dishonorable Mention: There Will Be Blood, Sweeney Todd

Nota Bene: I never got around to seeing Ratatouille, Charlie Wilson's War, The Savages, La Vie En Rose, 4 Months etc., Diving Bell & Butterfly, Into the Wild, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead or Norbit. Yeah, I know, probably all fine movies and some may have cracked my Top 10, but hey, if you want me to see your movie, try getting a bigger budget next time to get in some decent theaters, or try writing your script in English. (Hint: tip 2 will probably help you with tip 1)

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