Thursday, February 21, 2008

This Weekend in Running: 4 Fearless Predictions

We here at Less Than Our Best are concerned with very little. One of those few interests is discovering stuff white people like. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Since we have yet to meet anyone who knows how to correctly predict the future with any reliability, we will assume that we are the only ones who have that kind of insight. And, just as we do after every weekend no matter what we wake up in/next to, we will not hold ourselves accountable. After the jump, five things that WILL happen this weekend:

1) Ladies (who are we kidding), just gentlemen, your qualifiers for the U.S. Distance Team (in the events we care about) at the IAAF WORLD INDOOR CHAMPIONSHIPS (we figure if we capitalize and italicize, someone out there just might get excited about a world indoor championship in an Olympic year):
Men 800
Christian Smith
Nick Symmonds
**conventional wisdom has Khadevis Robinson running away with this one, but we are not conventional, and we like beards**

Women 1500
Jenelle "Deathberry Pie" Deatherage
Sara Hall
**get you a slice!**

Men 1500
Steve Scheirar
"The Angel" Gabriel Jennings
**has VHI hybrid reality show written all over it: Where/Who are they Now?**

Women 3000
uuummmmmmmm.....thought they canceled it due to lack of athlete interest

Men 3000
Christopher Solinsky
Matthew Tegenkamp
**they finish, hand-in-hand, quietly walk to the nearest Panera Bread, and order a turkey sandwich, enough said**
2) Come Sunday, as news reports from Indoor Nationals slowly leak out, humans will finally put to bed the age old question: If a track meet is held but no one knows because there's no promotion, does it make a sound?

3) One of the two LTOB crew gets arrested for running, sans shorts, on the school rec center's new Alter-G Anti-Gravity Treadmill. When reached for comment, we only will have this to say: "it's like climbing the rope in gym class, with air pressure...and without shorts.

4) Adam Nelson's inevitable domination in the shot put at Indoor Nationals prompts whispers that he's still getting a little special help:

C'mon Tyson - share the wealth!

No comments: