LessThanOurTweets

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Rogue Spear, Indeed

There are now hundreds of adult film starlets that moonlight as devoted fans of track and field and subscribe to ESPN The Magazine who are desperately hoping that Breaux Greer quits his day job. Well, maybe there are at least two or three. Or none. Regardless:
[...] The native of Monroe, La., wants you to know that he has a plan in place if he fails to qualify at the trials in July. "I think I'll do porn," he says in a deep, gravelly, Cajun accent. "That's something I know I do well."
Oh my. Above, you can see a publicity still from a homemade audition tape Greer made. (See the camera man?) After that demonstration of the wide range of facial expressions in his repertoire, Greer turned to the camera and growled "You've just been speared."

When reached for comment, a former lover of America's javelin wonderboy DID attest to the fact that Greer, er, "reached completion" with complete regularity only after, ahem, "removing himself." So I guess he IS cut right out for that line of work.

Ultimately though, that quote gets me thinking -- what would make for a good Plan B for some other running pros? I took my best guess, should any of the following fall on hard times with their running:

  • Matt Tegenkamp............... Fitness Video Guru
  • Abdi Abdirahim............... Car Dealer
  • Anthony Famiglietti............... NYC Bus Tour Guide
  • Bolota Asmerom............... Speedsuit Model
  • Bernard Lagat............... Shaft 2.0
  • Xavier Carter............... Trampoline Artist
  • Ryan & Sara Hall............... Barney and Betty Rubble
  • Dan Lincoln............... Scientist (Duh)
  • Amy Acuff............... REDACTED
  • Lolo Jones............... REDACTED
  • Katie McGregor............... Professional Ginger
  • Brie Felnagle............... REDACTED
  • Craig Mottram............... Urologist (Duh)
  • Dathan Ritzenhein............... Med School Test Dummy
  • Walter Dix............... [ snickers ]
Who says there isn't life after track?

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