"Kundun"? Or "Enemy of the State"?

Fear not, good citizens of the world. The Chinese are committed to bringing us a "stable" Olympic Games. And to do so, they know they will have to keep a close eye on this guy:

That's public enemy #1. Don't be fooled by the happy-go-lucky smile. The nebbish glasses. That Nobel Peace Prize? A very time-consuming and well-constructed ruse. (Shades of The Prestige anyone?) Yessir, the Dalai Lama is, according to Olympic organizers in China, nothing but a saboteur, with Molotov cocktails and festering dissent stashed beneath his robes:

"He is even trying to sabotage this important event and spread rumors," said Zhang Qingli, the region's Communist Party secretary, its top official. [...] "If there is an unstable element in Tibet, for example, the sabotage activities of the Dalai clique, then under these special and individual circumstances we will take corresponding measures to uphold stability," he said.

In other words, they are going to strike back against his rumors, by starting a counter-rumor: that the Dalai Lama totally went down on Tommy Herschel in the bathroom at the junior prom.

Slut.