Thursday, March 6, 2008

Last I Felt Him, He Felt Pretty Old

Pictured above: the moderately terrifying 101 year-old who has stated his intention to run the London Marathon, in hopes of becoming the oldest person ever to complete a marathon.
[Buster] Martin expects to shatter, or at least ease past, the [age] record next month when he runs London's marathon.

My question: isn't living 101 years enough of an accomplishment? A philosopher once said, "Life's not a track meet, it's a marathon. Fuck the cemetery that a nigga get buried on." In that case, isn't Buster Martin winning the marathon that is life?

In short, no. If anything, he's DFL because it's taking him so daggone long to finish. He's like the overweight middle-aged woman who is still out around the 20-mile mark at 6 hours, Gallowalking her way in and thinking, "I can't wait to get my Finisher medal" as volunteers disassemble the chute and think, Hurry the F up, lady. Only this time that volunteer is St. Peter.

Anyway, Martin apparently said he'd like to have a beer and a "fag" (tee-hee-hee) upon completion of the marathon, proving that, once again, he has heeded sage words from our great poet-philosophers:

"We be clubbin' til the day we die. Nigga, ask the bartender if you think we lie."

Indeed. Very indeed.


ben said...

I think more impressive than this old guy running a marathon, is that he still works at dominoes (see: shirt he's wearing in picture)

Anonymous said...

Or is it Pimlico Plumbers? Maybe you should try fact checking instead of relying on inaccurate observations.

ben said...

No, Im pretty sure its dominoes.

Interesting side note: Mr. Martin was the original Domino's "Noid". Dont believe me? check the resemblance:

He was fired and put on oven detail after his beard was deamed "outta control"

Jeremy said...

Eh.... the Noid has a slightly more bulbous nose than Martin. I think they were probably just brothers.