Wednesday, January 2, 2008

2007: A Look Back

Wowee! What a year! I got a new "real" job, which meant I could finally begin frittering away someone else's time farting around on the Internet. The net result? This blog... the web equivalent of an unprovoked, undeserved punch to the taint. We're sorry, really we are. I don't know why we're allowed to continue to exist.

But since The Google continues to (foolishly) lease us this space for free, let's take a look back (after the jump) at the headlining stories from a wacky, wacky year...

Hall in Houston! Hall in London! Hall in Belgium! Hall in NYC! - Really, 2007 was the year of Ryan Hall. Armed with the Midas touch (get it? Armed?) he obliterated the American Record in the Half-Marathon, the American Debut Best in an audacious rookie appearance in London, the American Olympic Trials Record and the piece de resistance, the longstanding American Mile Record. What a year!

Marion Jones Confesses - I'm not really sure why news outlets reported this story as "Marion Jones: Steroid User!" but neglected to print articles such as "Baseball Went On Strike in 1994!" and "Super Bowl Pits Top AFL and NFL Teams!" While her confession was newsworthy, the information therein was about as enlightening as the Mitchell report.

Lagat and Lagat - A sterling double 1500/5000 victory in Osaka keeps Bernie just slightly arears of rival El Guerrouj with his Olympic double, but, after Osaka, the pair thus remains ever ahead of their middle distance contemporaries. Sadly, as I understand it, only 30% of Lagat's medals counted as American...

Kara Goucher Wins World Champs Bronze - Somehow this made it's way to the top of some "Best of 2007" Lists. Awesome performance, yes, but, c'mon. Nevertheless, that is a nice, nice looking lady.

Walter Dix, Headline Maker - Partly because he dominated NCAA Outdoors. Partly because he has a funny name: "Dix explodes to finish!" "Dix comes from behind for last minute triumph!" "Dix ejaculate all over rump-area of tatooed adult-film starlet!"

McDougal Finally Gets Monkey of Back, Wins NCAA Title - I had said for years that goddamned monkey was slowing him down, but I guess if you look like a smaller, hairier version of a man, who happens to be wearing adorable red overalls, it's easy for people to carried away over you.

World Sheds Tear at the Absence of Thomas Chamney's Trackshark Blog - 2007 was incomplete without it. So was I.

Ugly Disagreement Mars Tasering Incident at Club Nationals - The opposition between opposing sides was vocal. Angry. Diametric, in nature. It really was a shame that such vociferous back-biting and in-fighting within the running message board community would ultimately distract from what could and should have been nothing more than a colorful and somewhat amusing anecdote for us all to remember the 2007 Club Nats by: "Remember how everyone there was holding in the giggles because they were ALL thinking 'Don't tase me, bro!' but no one wanted to piss off the cops?" "Yeah, yeah! And then in the quiet that guy farted and no one could hold it in anymore and everyone just cracked up?" "Man! Good times at the 2007 Cross Country Club Nationals... good times..."

Mottram Announces Size of Balls on National Television - Still awaiting word, however, on the size of his beef bayonet.

Flotrack Videos Everything In Sight - Want to see Hall's aforementioned half-marathon record? Want to see breathless, controversial interviews with running glitterati such as the aforementioned Big Balls? Want to see marginal HS running prospects in some remote county in Idaho wax poetic about how their dietary choices the night before the race led them to their third-place finish? Want to see them relieving themselves of said dietary choices as a Flotrack cameraman follows them into the bushes for their pre-race deuce? It's all here, my friend.

Ted Corbitt - A pioneer passes...

Ryan Shay - And the sadness prevails...

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