LessThanOurTweets

Thursday, January 24, 2008

She Was Way better in "Swordfish"

We're a little past the mid-point of January and I'm looking back at the past few weeks. I'm doing a miserable job of editing a running website, and I know it. But you know what else? I'm ever-resolved to continue my month-long boycott of running because what has the sport given me in the past 23 days? A Houston Half-Marathon that did NOT result in a massive American Record. A marathon in Dubai, a place that I'm pretty sure is made up. I mean, have you ever met anyone from Dubai? Do you know anyone who has even visited the United Arab Emirates? Yeah. Me neither. So I remain steadfast.

Oscar nominations were just announced. A fairly amusing undressing of the notion of the Oscar "dis" was blogged over at Yahoo by J. Keith van Straaten, a guy with about two too many parts to his name. Nevertheless, we're half-way through running purgatory and a month out from the awards-show itself, so take a gander at the big-boy nominees, after the jump.

PICTURE: Blood, No Country, Juno, Atonement, Clayton
DIRECTOR: Schnabel, Coens, Paul Thomas Anderson, whoever directed Michael Clayton and Juno
ACTOR: Clooney, Daniel Day-Lewis, Tommy Lee-Jones, Aragorn
ACTRESS: Cate (for Elizabeth), Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Laura Linney, Ellen Page, Teresa Faatblotter, my seven-grade Science teacher. See, I slipped it in among those names and you didn't even notice!

Some good stuff there, I suppose. But honestly... were members of the Academy stumbling into dozens of theaters inexplicably screening Pirates of the Caribbean ... and mistaking it for Sweeney Todd? On a nationwide, near epidemic level? Because, I don't think there was a single thing Johnny Depp did in Sweeney Todd that your average black-shirted Manhattan waiter couldn't have done in that role. Since when did the Oscars start handing out nominations for showing up, wearing make-up, and getting your lines right? Is the Academy unaware that in film you get multiple tries to achieve that?

Then again, I guess singing that weakly actually is almost an accomplishment.

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