Olympics: Only Slightly More Complicated Than Planning a Family Reunion Potluck

Talk about a logistical nightmare. Today's New York Times features an article about the issues raised with rival companies vying for publicity at the Olympics -- some legitimate Olympic sponsors, some not.

Fast fact: the local organizing committee basically needs to snap up ALL the billboards in town to ensure only official sponsors end up using them. Crazy, right? (Note to self: buy properties in Chicago, investigate local zoning laws pertaining to billboards.) Also, as the article points out, if you're an official sponsor like Visa (and I'm assuming you are) you'll want to get some value out of your licensing investment and, thus, you'll need to make sure vendors EVERYWHERE are equipped to handle Visa cards. Afterall, your motto is "Everywhere you want to be" and Beijing, China...? Pretty far down the list, checking in just ahead of Poop Factory, and just behind Moist Hippo Sphincter.

The Olympics, however, IS where everyone wants to be -- even if they were held in said Sphincter -- and so companies are elbowing each other aside like fat people at a Golden Corral. For those of you at the Trials, you saw firsthand how adidas pulled a mini-coup by creating the post-race Place-to-Be at Villard Street Pub (more on that later today), just a short walk from Swoosh-festooned Hayward Field.

Inexplicably, Nike was unable to purchase the Olympics Movement as a whole -- you should have seen their proposed logo of five interlocking swooshes -- and, while Old Lady Victory was busy reaching past its grasp, adidas apparently slipped in to nab apparel-sponsor rights for Beijing 2008. (Nevermind the fact that the USOC is sponsored by Nike and that the US Track team will be competing in ugly Nike uniforms... whole other can of worms...)

So you can bet Nike will be looking for alternative methods for cashing in on the Olympic cow. My suggestion?

Handjobs.

[Ed. Note: Now including link it should have included from the get-go.]

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Letsrun Posters Geek as Facebook Photos Leak

Earlier today a Letsrun.com message board poster going by the gracious alias "at least they can party!" posted links to several facebook pictures that included a number of Olympic Trials participants "beering it up," as I like to say. How dare they!?!?!

It seems that the heavy flow of hot and most definitely sweaty traffic has overloaded the message board, which is a blank screen right now.

Situations such as these create a very interesting conundrum for the media and for fans of the sport. Should these photos be news? Other sports seem to think they are. Is running different? Is there some sort of unique kinship that we share with all other runners, no matter their ability level, that puts us in a different category than football or baseball fans and forces us to think twice about embarassing one of our own by defaming them as they do something we have all done before and will continue to do every time we're at a party where there's beers, buds, and broads (sorry, that's the only word for woman I can think of that starts with 'b'....seriously.)?

I don't want to get into this now. Basically, I just wanted to use that headline. And, hey, three posts today...you're welcome very much.

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Ritz, Others Racing in NYC Half

Once again, Dathan Ritzenhein has made a bold promise to compete in a road race. This one: NYC Half on July 27.

All signs point to Ritz at least starting this time as he did start and finish the Olympic Trials 10k less than a week ago. Plus, according to the NYRR release, the race is going to be his "final tune-up" before Beijing. So, the whole "precautionary measure because I felt a twinge in my left/right ______ last week" thing is less likely to hold him back when faced with the alternative of going into China rusty. Although, he went into the marathon trials rusty, so...

Also in the men's race will be US half marathon champ James Carney, perpetual close-to-the-fronter Fasil Bizuneh, and youtube G Fernando Cabada (1,800+ views of him just driving his car? Am I missing something?)

Not only that, but yours truly will be on the line ready to pant and complain over 13.1 miles of regret in the debut of the LTOB "Racing" Club. Get your tickets early folks.

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The Year of the Trials

There is a lot of talk these days about the upturn in American distance running. To most fans, the best way to measure whether the talk is valid is to see how the athletes do at the Olympics in August. The results will come in, we'll compare the Beijing results to the Athens, Sydney, Atlanta, and Barcelona results. Hell, we'll even throw in Seoul and L.A. for good measure, but you can forget about Montreal. Irrelevant. Only old people were alive in 1976.

When those inevitable comparisons come to pass, I think we can all agree that this year's distance squad will probably finish higher on average than any since, um, let's say '76, but '68 isn't out of reach either (we do have Lagat now, after all).

Results are results and, sure, it's great when the good old USA does well but, the big step forward this year is not in the runners' performances., it's in the success of the three Olympic Trials. These were events, man. Talk about a turnaround. Each of the three trials, 2 marathons and a track meet, were HUGE events where a LARGE group of people had fun, got enthusiastic, and cared about foot races.

New York City, Boston, and Eugene brought their A game and it showed. those cities have quite an A game too. They wanted their event to be the best ever and, in each case, it might be argued that they succeeded. Birmingham, Sacramento, and St. Louis, though? Are you kidding me? Not the best ever. Not close. Those cities could throw everything they had at the next 10 trials and still not be able to match what was done this year. They don't have the resources, the fan base, or the practice with big events. Which is something important to keep in mind for future national championships.

That is the exciting turnaround of this season. The big performances on the track will come, have already started to come. The right people have identified problems with preparation and the right people are working hard to fix those problems, and it is coming around. Watching it come around over a long period of time is the most fun thing about being a track fan. But, the events and the media coverage, along the excitement that both of those entities can create when done well, is the most exciting turnaround that has been most promising about '07-'08.

The domestic track season is over which means we all have a lot of computer screen watching to look forward to. It also means the big times and races are about to drop, which is fun, even if you are watching the action spread over a dozen or so pixels. The benchmark for track events in America, though, has already dropped in NYC, Boston, and Eugene, and it's a mark that should make us all pretty happy with where American distance running has turned.

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What The Didn't Tell You: Olympic Trials 1

I'll admit: 3000 Miles to the Trials evolved into something rather different than originally imagined. Initially we thought it would be a great way to be the eyes and ears of all you folks stuck back at home who wondered how "crazy" it would be... how "drunk" Ben would get... how "broke" you would end up from buying people rounds of drinks... how many "female professional runners" one could take home from a Eugene bar during those two weeks... how many of those would be "willing" conquests...

The answer to each of those questions, in order: three and a half. But, sadly, you couldn't tell that from the videos, which devolved more or less into Ben prancing and preening in front of the cameras, and yelling at me for "not making him look good enough," once we stopped rolling. So, for the next few days I'm going to try to paint an accurate portrait of what Trials life was really like in and around Eugene. It's What They Didn't Tell You, only it's things I couldn't make up if I tried.

Part 1: ANIMAL HOUSE

In case you didn't know, Animal House was filmed in Eugene, and coming to the Trials meant a little taste of that lifestyle: what they didn't tell you is that just about anyone and everyone -- athletes excluded -- seemed to be staying on campus, in dorms called the "Living Learning Center." It meant a return to the joy of college life: the excitement of meeting new people, calling home to tell your mom about the girl from the fourth floor that you got ice cream with, getting some sort of mold on your junk from accidentally brushing against the shower curtain in the communal bathroom.

We, however, missed out on all that fun, by staying in the now-famous hotel room featured in the "Having a Beer with Ross Krempley" video. Despite being ~25 minutes south of Eugene in Cottage Grove, every place of business I walked into around there was also being patronized by visiting track fans -- their fandom made evident by no shortage of USATF gear, usually worn by the entire family. Now I'm OK with some patriotic gear here and there, but your entire family? For track fans, that's basically the equivalent of outfitting you, your spouse, your kids and your pets, in matching t-shirts featuring a bald eagle flanked by a billowing American flag. Maybe one which proclaims "THESE COLORS DON'T BLEED: LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT -- GOD BLESS AMERICA."

But I digress. Bottom line: during the Trials track fans were ANYWHERE you went within a 30 mile radius. Maybe more.

As for those who DID dorm on campus, despite staying in Cottage Grove, we spent some time in and around the Living/Learning Centers, and got a pretty good picture of what it was like. For instance, there was convenience to be had in staying LITERALLY steps from Hayward Field. You could hear the crowd in the stadium even with the window closed. In fact, the crowd usually served as my alarm clock, telling me to give up on whatever piece of crap video I was working on and head over to the Festival to watch a particular event on the big screen -- the rooms came unfurnished after all, so no TVs (I'm told West Coasters couldn't get live coverage, anyway). I'd hear a burst of noise, recognize that the 400H must have just concluded, and close the old laptop, knowing that somethings are beyond saving and that the Men's 800 was about the begin.

(The convenience was tempered, by all accounts, by the RA's, who were complete dicks. Shocker It's like they get off on you having a little fun. Throwing a little kegger. Damaging a little university property. On more than one occasion, you'd leave a room, only to see the RA hurriedly walking down the hall, trying to disguise the fact that he had been listening at your door. I swear! We really were playing actual ping-pong in there!)

More to the point, because so many family members, fans, and journalists were staying there (hence, I assume, why we were not allowed to stay there) you never knew who you might bump into.

In other words, what they didn't tell you is that you never know when you may have an impromptu business meeting with marathon Trials-qualifier and Bachelorette-star Josh Cox... in a dorm bathroom.

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Win Prizes at the 3000 Miles Live Blog

Yes, Folks, we're Live Blogging again, only this time we'll be giving away prizes for Best Comment of the session. So head over to tothetrials.com with your "A" game in hand.

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Live Blog Over at 3000 Miles

If you're here now, you shouldn't be. We've got a live blog going on at tothetrials.com, as we document the hot night of mid-D and distance action at the Trials... 800 Finals, Women's 5000 semis, and the Men's 5000 FINALS.

So head over and chime in.

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Greetings From Eugene

Today we start Week Two of the Olympic Trials. Obvi.

I hope you have enjoyed my complete negligence of any sort of writing since we've gotten here. At 3000 Miles to the Trials, as in life, Ben has been picking up my slack.

But we're excited to bring you a live blog from Eugene today, since there's a fantastic lineup on the track, with finals for the men's and women's 800s and the men's 5k.

And, dancing hippies. Lots and lots of dancing hippies.

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What They Didn't Tell You: High School Records

Ah.... the things they don't tell you... Example the first: when you sign a "contract" with "someone" to "produce a web video series," apparently that person doesn't appreciate it when you "ask if we can push that start date back a couple of weeks so we can catch up on our blog." And that they may even threaten to "cut off the two things that you'll miss more than any others the rest of your life" in a frighteningly cold, calm voice. Cripes! The things you miss if you don't go to law school!

But, little do "they" know... you can't cut off rainbows or my trust fund from me! Only God can do that!

German Fernandez clocked an 8:34 to break the HS 2-mile record this past weekend, AND he ran negative splits to do it. What they didn't tell you is that he was actually on 8:50 pace until he realized he was running late for prom.

Also not making the race recaps? Fernandez wore trainers to prom. And a running watch. (I guess that one's kind of a given.)

In other prom-related news, they didn't tell you that I got to go to exactly ONE HOUR of my senior prom because our league meet was rained out the night prior and bumped to Saturday. They also didn't tell you that I am STILL BITTER ABOUT IT. (I guess that's kind of apparent.)

And finally, no one told you about a high school record that DID manage to hold up this year: my ben's record for most consecutive rebuffs during an attempted post-prom "communion." And by "post-prom communion" I mean, "goodnight kiss." (I guess that one goes without saying.)

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To the Trials We Go

As Jeremy pointed out in his previous post, we are headed to the Olympic Trials in Eugene after this weekend. We will be driving there, which means we should probably start planning on how that's going to happen. Currently, neither of us owns a car, or a bank account, and I lack the attention span to drive for more than an hour without picking up a dangerous hitchhiker. In preparation for the trip, we will spend the weekend sipping pounding $9 beers while watching the Reds at Yankee stadium then working on our tans (and our table manners) up in the Hamptons: the usual.

Needless to say, we're really excited about the trip and being able to do the same thing we have been doing here at LTOB over in so-called Tracktown, USA. We hope all of you guys follow the "action" over at TOTHETRIALS.COM and let us know what's the what in the comments. We will still be updating every now and then on this site with pics and tidbits too "racy" or "obscene" for the lightweights over at 3000 miles.

Then, we will be back on here after the trials are over to give the real scoop on Eugene. You know, who hooked up with who, who woke up in women's underwear the morning after their 1500 final: the good stuff.

This trials is gonna be a big one, folks, so dust off that old Springsteen album and jump around a little bit, we won't tell.

Finally, if you live in the Columbus, Ohio area and want to wish us well, or throw boiled vegetables at us, visit the Second Sole in the Stoneridge Plaza at the corners of Morse and Hamilton in Gahanna, OH. We'll be there sometime between noon and 4pm on June 25th. Hopefully. So it would be best to just block out the whole day and hang out with the Sole crew. I here they smell nice but love to give wedgies, so watch out.

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What They Didn't Tell You: MEDIUM-SIZED ANNOUNCEMENT

Well, we feel we owe it to you, our reader, to address the rumors I'm sure many of you have not been hearing: that LTOB will be powering down during the Olympic Trials. We must admit to you, our reader, it is true.

Now you may ask, Ted, How can we stop ““covering”” (sarcastic quotation-marks doubled, to convey depth of sarcasm) track and field during the biggest domestic track meet on US soil? Well, I would reply to you, our reader – Ted – first, that saying “domestic” and “US soil” is redundant. And second, Did you ever think that maybe we have lives too? That maybe we would like to just sit back and enjoy a track meet for once? Instead of constantly struggling to master this baffling language to express our thoughts on the sport in a way that doesn’t come out looking like duck orange pretty chips taste smutty?

These are the hypotheticals with which you would be assailed. However, here are the facts: we neither have lives nor like sitting back to enjoy track broadcasts. (It’s like the age-old saying goes: “You can take the Larry Rawson out of the NBC booth, but you’re still going to be stuck with Carol Lewis.”) But here's What They Didn't Tell You:

WE ARE GOING TO EUGENE FOR THE OLYMPIC TRIALS!

But wait! There’s Less©! Not only will we be going to the Trials, but we will be documenting the whole experience, VIDEO-STYLE in a little “show” that answers to the name “3000 MILES TO THE TRIALS.” Do we have tickets to the meet? No! Do we have a car to get there? No! Will we lose our jobs by taking that much vacation time? Most likely!

No matter. All the goodness from our journey can be found at a little URL we, and your browser, like to call tothetrials.com. We hit the road June 24th. Until then, we will be maintaining LTOB to the fullness of our inabilities, while also posting some new content at tothetrials.com, as well. For those of you that facebook, you can go to our page over there to make sure you don't miss out on contests and the like.

So check it out!

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Fearless Predictions: Neptune Charlie Alpha Alpha Edition

Less Than Our Best is concerned with very little. One of those few interests is vaguely hinting that we have a big medium-sized at best announcement on the horizon. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

Professional American distance running is calming themselves for the most part as we head into the storm, but those chippy amateurs are going at it for the love of the sport in tracktown midwest this weekend. That is Drake, Iowa for those who've never been to the relays. If only everyone was doing it for the love of the sport...

Regardless, here's a breakdown of how I see the weekend going:


NCAA Champs.

800 - Probably the most anticipated final of the championship with Oregon wunderkid Andrew Wheating taking on the Texas two-step of Jacob Hernandez. Since this is essentially the first year of Vinny's reign of dominance on college mid and long distance running, The Wheat-man (cool nickname) will win after Hernandez carries the pace.

1500 - Some say it's impossible for Leo Manzona to lose the 1500 at this year's NCAA championships. Those same people said it was impossible for me to ever touch a boob. I think you see where I'm going with this.

3000Steeple - It's worth it to note that there is an athlete in the finals of the steeplechase this year with my favorite name of all time. Barnabas? Hillary? Carl? No, Tibor. Such a strong Austro-Hungarian name is due only to a man with a lot of chest hair and questionable deodorant applying skills. Mr. Vegh, please don't dissappoint. Um....I gues Peter Kosgei'll probably win.

5000 - Colorado has three guys in this final, one of which is the favorite and another who has a legitimate shot if the early pace is slow. Wetmore, how can you be so good and yet continue to sport that ponymale (you prefer mantail maybe?)? I just don't get it, ponytails on men are phases, they are not to be embraced by a guru such as yourself. Unless, one is the guru of denim jackets, that guy needs to have a ponytail to get the gig. Anyway, Bobby Curtis is going to beat Vaughn over the last 200 meters to win it.

10,000 - I got Songkok.

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Photo of the Weekend: Pre Classic

Photo of the Weekend was a tight contest this week, what with all the great meets going on here and abroad. But surprise, surprise, we head up to Eugene, Oregon and the Pre Classic for this week's winner:

This is just a strange-looking photo. From the body position, to the look on this gentleman's face. Rarrrr!

So, a doff of the cap to Errol Anderson for capturing this gem. (Photos via TrackShark.com)

Anderson also photographed our runner-up, which can be seen below:

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Fun With The Google

Here's a fun game to start off your Tuesday morning. Type in www.google.com into that address bar above. In the google box (my high school girlfriend's nickname, btw) type in "the gouchers" and hit enter. If you aren't following my instructions, just hit the jump and see what you would have found...

That's right, LTOB is climbing that Google ladder, into the #9 position for all the Goucher fans out there. As any great blog knows, you have to find your niche and exploit the hell out of it. So, you can look forward to Goucher posts on a twice daily basis from now on. YYAAAYY!

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What They Didn't Tell You: Pre Classic

Pre Weekend, which also had action someplace in Europe, plus the Boston High Performance Meet and the Saturn Grand Championships or something like that. Shall we?

First off, what they didn't tell you is NOT that I cleaned up in the Pick-N-Win contest. In fact, I've been downright insufferable about that. I'm sorry. I will stop now. I promise.

What they didn't tell you this weekend during the Pre telecast is that, up in Eugene, there is this place called Pre's Rock... Wait, that was also a thing that they didn't not tell you.

Luke Puskedra -- a HS runner -- got to run the 2-mile at Pre in attempt to break Jeff Nelson's National Prep record... and ended up dead last and a half a minute back from the winners. He tried his best, and he failed miserably. The lesson is, Don't try.

There was a Saturn Meet this weekend, but what they didn't tell you was what the time adjustment for altitude is on Saturn. Thanks, I'll show myself out now.

Bislett was late last week, and what they may not have told you is that, frankly, it got housed by the Pre Meet in terms of quality. I mean, the so-called "Dream Mile" was won by a British guy. Ooooooh, wait! Now I get it! "Dream Mile"....

Finally, what they didn't tell you was that we've got something of an announcement coming later this week. Stay tuned.

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LTOB "USATF Pick-N-Win Contest" Contest Results: Pre

Drumroll, please....

Who's now tied for 35th Overall in the USATF Pick-N-Win contest? JEREMY'S now tied for 35th Overall in the USATF Pick-N-Win contest, that's who.

I overcame goose-eggs in 3 events by picking 12 events correctly, thus managing my highest point total for the season, and my highest overall finish in the USATF contest. As a result of my recent tear, yet another person didn't even bother to enter picks, faced with the hopelessness of trying to surmount me. (hehehe.... "mount me"...)

Here are the full results:

PTS - (USATF PLACE) - NAME - (Season-long USATF place)
153 ( 25) - Giving Less (again) (35)
144 ( 62) - Running Down a Dream
141 ( 73) - Hutch-in-the-Clutch
133 (135) - Four Toes (79)
127 (196) - LessThanOurBest.com
123 (231) - Sulphur Springs
121 (252) - Optimal Training
n/a (n/a) - Columbia, SC Runner
n/a (n/a) - Simon Says
96 (569) - Predicted Winners

Kudos to Katie for jumping into the Top 100, overall in the season-long standings at USATF. I have to look at Hutch-in-the-Marc-Jacobs-Clutch and wonder what could have been, had he played the game from the start...

Just one meet the go: the grand-daddy of the mall! Questions abound: will my head get any bigger? Will Predicted Winners get back on the right side of "100" and out of the place-of-shame behind the non-starters? Will more people get bored and quit? Check back at the end of June to find out!

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Fearless Predictions: Prefontaine? Never Heard of 'im. Edition

Less Than Our Best is concerned with very little. One of those few interests is how a man can look cool dancing. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

This weekend we get to revel in all the glory that is Steve Prefontaine. For a change. That is, unless you've ever walked into a running store, own Nike shoes, or have seen the back of a high school cross country team's t-shirt.

With any luck we will hear announcers like Larry Rawson wax poetic about how tough 'ol "Pre" was and that opponents would have to bleed to beat him (must have been a weird site to have three runners covered in blood on that medal stand in '72, HEY-YO!), and of course how he never gave anything less than his best. It's like the Thanksgiving Day parade for all that is douchey about distance running, and Nike is Macy's. And the drum major that leads the parade. And Santa Claus at the end. And Matt Lauer trying to act like the damn thing is exciting to experience.

Luckily, there are some good races to watch as well, if I don't throw the remote through the television.



BISLETT GAMES

1) Jeremy Wariner exorcises some demons in the 400 by breaking Michael Johnson's meet record (43.86) and totally dominates the last 100 meters of the race. It's not a suprise that Wariner bounces back so well here. After all, he did once lose to this guy just three weeks before he won the World Championship gold in 2005, and that guy is British and WHITE! Talk about embarassing.

PREFONTAINE CLASSIC

1) After a strong start to the day, my fantasy team goes 2 for 2 (Bekele and Defar) and then quietly slinks into the bottom half of the rankings. Former champs "Katie" and "Jeremy" get humbled into 3rd and 4th place while the jolly ginger "Jesse" jukes and jives his way to a much deserved victory, narrowly pulling away from "Bryan" who proceeds to generate conspiracy theory rumors against us via his far more respected (and viewed) blog optimal training. As for "Hutch"? Poor guy never had a chance...

***Wanna get in on the "fun," enter the LTOB fantasy track contest and win a flippin' prize!***

2) Let's go through the rest of these event by event:

M400 - LaShawn Merritt wins and runs .04 seconds faster than Wariner does at Bislett. Wariner, after watching via live web feed, goes out on the town in Bislett and drunk dials Clyde Hart, sloppily begs Hart to take him back.

M800 - Canadian Gary Reed gets out kicked first by Khadevis Robinson and then by Nick Symmonds in the last 50 meters. Canadian athletes go on strike. No one notices. Except the Versus network.

M1Mile - Komen wins. More importantly, Lopez Lomong beats Alan Webb to get second. It doesn't matter though, Webb "still working on his base, has yet to do speedwork." (that quote guaranteed to be uttered during press conference)

M2Mile - Shaheen, Mottram, Ramzi, Lagat, Solinsky, Koech. That is the order they will finish Sunday....backwards. Did I just blow your mind?

M10000 - Bekele is off record pace by 6000 meters. Wins in 26:55. Complains there was too much wind. If only there were a time of day that was cool and usually windless... Abdi runs 27:45, says he's just wanted to get his Olympic A standard.

W800 - Shannon Rowbury w...i...I just can't quite do it. Mutola wins for the 53rd straight time and performs requisite 'suck it' gesture. Rowbury finishes 2nd unfortunately. She'll have her day.

W5000 - Kara Goucher runs 14:51, begins to hate Shalane Flanagan.

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More Goucher News. YAAAYYY!

It might seem that I spend an inordinate amount of time talking about Adam and Kara Goucher, which I do. But hey, they seem to be in the news more than anyone else and one of them is really pretty (it's not that you're ugly Adam, just not what I would call "pretty").

Two interesting bits of news were revealed about the running couple at NBCOlympics.com yesterday: 1. Kara is racing the 5000 this weekend at the Pre Classic and 2. Adam is reportedly planning to race the 5000 AND the 10,000 at the Olympic trials in a few weeks.

Kara will be given the chance to improve her 14:55 PR in a loaded field that includes Meseret Defar, who made it clear that she is in shape and going for the 5k world record on Sunday.

Adam. Racing the 5k AND 10k at the trials?! Hhmm, curious. Has not raced in God knows how long, and he's gonna double up (triple with prelims) at the trials? AlSal, where are you going with this?

My guess is either NBC put an "and" where and "or" should have been, or they think the competition in the 10k is weaker and he has a better shot at top 3 there, which is true. This will make the result of the 5k just icing on the cake. A wretchedly painful 12.5 laps worth of icing. I like the idea, it's just ironic that a runner known for not competing very much will be taking on that heinous double.

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Fantasy Track 3: Prefontaine Classic

We complete the trilogy of "regular season" fantasy track with the Prefontaine Classic this weekend. Without a doubt, the end of this trilogy will be more Return of the King and less Godfather 3Of course, we can't escape the possibility of a Back to the Future 3 scenerio.

The rules are simple: CLICK HERE, sign up (if you haven't already), make your picks (once they are posted), then put your team name and your best trash talk in the comments below. If you win, we will send a flippin' sweet-azz prize to you via USPS. If you lose, we will mock your lack of knowledge and make fun of your PR's. Just like in non-fantasy track!

So get started. And while your making your picks, remember: To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.

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Photo of the Weekend: Reebok Grand Prix

So apparently, this guy is pretty fast. Apparently, after setting the world record, he went to Times Square. Get it? TIMES SQUARE?

No, really - do you get it?

Obviously, this means that this week's Photo of the Weekend honors go to one Usain Bolt and the photographer: ME.

More on me in a second.

Apparently Definitely, this guy is not very fast.

But he CAN hold fast shoes. As in, the shoes that covered 100 metres faster than any other shoes in the history of shoekind.

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