What They Didn't Tell You: High School Records

Ah.... the things they don't tell you... Example the first: when you sign a "contract" with "someone" to "produce a web video series," apparently that person doesn't appreciate it when you "ask if we can push that start date back a couple of weeks so we can catch up on our blog." And that they may even threaten to "cut off the two things that you'll miss more than any others the rest of your life" in a frighteningly cold, calm voice. Cripes! The things you miss if you don't go to law school!

But, little do "they" know... you can't cut off rainbows or my trust fund from me! Only God can do that!

German Fernandez clocked an 8:34 to break the HS 2-mile record this past weekend, AND he ran negative splits to do it. What they didn't tell you is that he was actually on 8:50 pace until he realized he was running late for prom.

Also not making the race recaps? Fernandez wore trainers to prom. And a running watch. (I guess that one's kind of a given.)

In other prom-related news, they didn't tell you that I got to go to exactly ONE HOUR of my senior prom because our league meet was rained out the night prior and bumped to Saturday. They also didn't tell you that I am STILL BITTER ABOUT IT. (I guess that's kind of apparent.)

And finally, no one told you about a high school record that DID manage to hold up this year: my ben's record for most consecutive rebuffs during an attempted post-prom "communion." And by "post-prom communion" I mean, "goodnight kiss." (I guess that one goes without saying.)

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What They Didn't Tell You: Reebok Grand Prix

This weekend, we discovered all over again, the route for sports success: get people talking about your stars. (Consider this an APB for Ryan Hall: Get yourself out to the Hamptons.) After the jump, discover What They Didn't Tell You about the wide world of running from Friday to Sunday.

At the Reebok Grand Prix, the Jamaican contingent booed 400m winner, Sanya Richards, ostensibly in reaction to her defection from Jamaica. Now, I don't know about you guys, but I was always told that its mean to make fun of someone just because they have a defection. All of God's children are beautiful -- even the "special" ones.

German Fernandez ran a double of 4:00 and 8:34 at the California State Meet. While neither is a record in and of itself, what they didn't tell you was that he IS the first German named Fernandez.

In Berlin, Jeremy Wariner lost a 400m race. (To find the last time that happened, we have to refer all the way back to Herodotus.) Somewhere, Clyde Hart helped himself to a second piece of pecan pie, with extra pecans.

Usain Bolt ran 9.72 -- some sort of record, I'm told. But they didn't tell you that for the Fastest Man Alive, the post-race celebration of choice is McDonald's: Angus Burger, Chicken Selects and a big Blue Powerade, easy on the ice. You now know the secret. Prepare accordingly.

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