First they guaranteed perfect weather for the duration of the Olympics. (They will dissipate potential rainclouds by shooting rockets into them.) Now they are guaranteeing that athletes will receive their medals from only the slimmest, hottest of young Chinese women. No word yet on whether this guarantee is predicated on a plan to shoot rockets into the "big bottoms" the planning committee is so worried about. But if it is, sign me up.[by way of Deadspin, via 100 Percent Injury Rate.]
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