What They Didn't Tell You: adidas Classic

First off, what they didn't tell you was that I'd be out of town the beginning of this week, and too much of a lard-ass to write this ahead of time. But there's also plenty to talk about from this weekend's action. That's straight ahead...

Jenn Stuczynski jumped an AR 16' (#2 all-time in the world) in the pole vault competition at the adidas Track Classic. What they didn't tell you is that she didn't actually jump at all! She used a pole to launch herself up over the bar! What a rip!

Shannon Rowbury ran an INCENDIARY 4:01 to clean up in the 1500 and easily get her Olympic "A" standard. And, as she crossed the line she bellowed over her shoulder "How's that Rowbury Pie taste, bitches?" Then, she credited her senior prom date, Don Sebastian, pictured with her, above, for supporting her during those developmental years.

Rupp's win in the ATC 3k stunned plenty of people who felt he was a 10k-or-Bust kind of guy. What they didn't tell you was that for this 3k, he wore an extra Breathe-Right. Aargh! The things I wish I knew in college!

With all the hubbub out in Carson City, the Healthy Kidney 10k in Central Park enjoyed a scant moment in the sun Saturday afternoon before being swept aside. With that short window, they never got the chance to tell you that kidneys are so last year. Next year, the beneficiary ought to be the pancreas. It's shaped like corn.

What they didn't tell you is that, apparently, Jimmy Wyner and Grant Robison switched names. Hence you THINKING that ESPN's commentators mixed up a curly-haired kid from Cornell, with a tall former Olympian. (And even if Stones & Rawson had made a mistake, no big deal, really: they were only rabbits, and mistakes like that are common, anyway. I mean, just last week, Tim McCarver got Jason Varitek mixed up with fellow all-star Red Sox backup, Kevin Cash. Plus, I mean, it wouldn't have been like Robison and Wyner had their names on their bibs. And, ultimately, it's only track, right?)

And finally, what they didn't tell you was that in the Less Than Our Best "USATF Pick-N-Win Contest" Contest... I actually tried. To any readers I let down or who felt misled and that the site misrepresented itself, I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again.

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LTOB "Pick-N-Win Contest" Contest Results: adidas Classic

Results after the jump.

It. Was. A TRAP! kate comes on here and posts her picks all innocently... so we "get inspired" to have this little contest and who wins? KATE. We thought, for a brief moment, that we were geniuses. We see now, that we were merely pawns in the machinations of a female mind-control game. Again.

PTS - place in USATF contest in parentheses
147 ( 41st) - Four Toes
139 (110th) - Giving Less
136 (138th) - Optimal Training
132 (204th) - Predicted Winners
111 (650th) - Simon Says
110 (674th) - LessThanOurBest.com
110 (674th) - Running Down a Dream
105 (785th) - Sulphur Springs

Oh, one more thing: we forgot to mention that there's one stipulation that goes with this contest. Should you win in a given week, you are required to take a photograph of yourself WITH THE PRIZE and send it to us for posting. Failure to do so will result in blatant slander and public humiliation. I can see it now: What They Didn't Tell You was that KATE has a fetish for LICKING DIRTY TOES DIPPED IN HOT SAUCE.

And finally, as a point of reference, dougcowles won the USATF contest this week, with 162 points, and 12 correct winners picked. In other words... MUCH better chance to win something over here.

On that note, let the lamenting about such-and-such an athlete begin!

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adidas Classic Quasi-Live Semi-Blog

Apologies, all - I like track and all, but, well, frankly: the adidas Classic is taking place in a glorified, three-quarters-full high school stadium... Cavs-Celtics Game 7.... less so. That's really all you need to know. So this afternoon, we'll bring you what the kids are calling a "mash-up" these days.

4:05 -- And we're off! We get into a quick early pace with our first official "Rawsonism." You heard it here first: if you want to cheer for an underdog, cheer for Bershawn Jackson... the fastest guy... in the field... Brilliant, Larry.

4:10 -- When LBJ gets a step on Paul Pierce, Pierce's defense of choice is the old, "hook his arm to slow him down." That's just Exhibit A in proving the following: Paul Pierce is a little bitch.

4:15 -- Shannon Rowbury, on the other hand, is a beast.

4:16 -- You know what made her performance even more impressive? That she ran 4:01 while having that musical abortion "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat assaulting her ears over the loud speaker. Whose bright idea was it to play the WORST, MOST-BORING SONG DURING A TRACK MEET?

4:18 -- Here's a suggestion for the 800: "Everybody Hurts" by REM.

4:30 -- Through the first few events, reader "kate" and her "Pick 'N Win" team "Four Toes" is in "first place" overall in the "USATF" "contest." Yes, I'm trying to "jinx" her by mentioning that here.

4:55 -- After looking terrible all game, glad to see the Cavs have at least kept it close going into half: 50-40.

4:56 -- I'm dismayed to discover that even thought they are showing this meet live on ESPN, they are NOT showing ANYTHING about certain events -- I check the Fantasy scores and discover the results of 4 different events that I was fired up to see on the telly.

5:10 -- Men's 1500, Take 1: NASCAR ain't got nothin' on us!

5:13 -- "Kiplagat"?

5:14 -- Lagat is removing all intrigue from the 1500, worldwide...

6:00 -- I don't what else happened. Pretty boring meet in the back half. But maybe that sentiment owes a lot to the fact that after roaring into the Top 6 in Pick-N-Win, I subsequently began a disgusting plummet. Then again, we had what? A Wariner win the 400? A Gay win in the 200? An AR in the Women's Pole Vault? Snooze.

6:07 -- So to wrap things up, back to Cavs-Celtics... did I mention Paul Pierce is a little bitch?

6:16 -- Looks like we could have a heck of a game down the stretch...

6:19 -- LBJ now with 44 points off a HUGE steal and stuff to cut the Cheap-Shot Artists Celtics lead to 1. We are all.... we are all... we are all seeing this? Is that how it goes?

6:30 -- Well... I can't wait to see the least-likable team in the NBA Celtics, lose in the Finals. I can only hope the NBA's 2nd-least-likable team, the Spurs, aren't the ones who get to do it...

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Fearless Predictions: Sit-And-Kick Edition (Now With Minimal Predictions!!)

Less Than Our Best is concerned with very little. One of those few interests is exposing Kevin Garnett's homophobia. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

1) Adidas Track Classic
See my picks for each event here.

Also, don't forget to enter the contest here and WIN BIG!

2) Conference Meets
As I've said before, Conference meets are amazing. The exciting races and team competition is probably the best thing about competing in college track. The different personalities of each conference make each championship's experience unique and interesting in different ways. Unfortunately, the nature of track coverage has me following conference meets from my computer, not on tv or live video.

As thrilling as my computer can be, if I go to certain sites (yikes!), refreshing results pages on the Pac-10 meet is not how I want to spend Saturday night. I want to spend Saturday night sipping $3 PBR cans and slurring loudly into the ears of potential mothers of my children. Clearly.

3) Healthy Kidney 10k
On my commute in and out of the city for the last 3 weeks I've ogled noticed the huge promotional posters of Dathan Ritzenhein in the Healthy Kidney 10k. After last week, the posters just reminded me of the pain that will be a Ritz-less field this weekend.

Some "experts" still think it will be a good field with dos Santos, Goumri, and Patrick Makau. I'd still rather have Ritz, dammit.

On the bright side, two of the best personalities in road racing will be there in Andrew Carlson and Richard Kiplagat. Though arguably not in the same league as the top three, these two are fan favorites and I really want them to do well (means they probably won't do well).

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Rating the Meats

That's Easy:
1. Steak
2. Chicken
3. Sausage
4. Bolgna
5. Turkey

Now that that's out of the way, why don't we rate some TRACK meEts?

As you may or may not have heard by now, Keninisa Bekele has signed on to make an attempt at his 10,000 meter world record at the Prefontaine Classic in Eugene on June 8. This coming on the heels of the Reebok Grand Prix's announcement that the world's top two sprinters, Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay (that's right I said it Asafa, what are you gonna do about it?), will face each other over 100 meters. Along with that, Adidas has set up a great field for their Adidas Track Classic this coming Sunday.

Undoubtedly, the three best track events in America leading up to tha' Grandaddy of all American track events: the trials.

With these four meets, Nike, Reebok, Adidas, and Nike USATF seem dedicated to putting on top quality track and field meets. Let's have a look how each meet stacks up, shall we...


Here's how the ratings work:

No Stars = Is this a professional track meet or a 7th grade pizza party?!
* = 3 out of 4 LRC message boarders will bitch about
** = Runnerville will have suggestions
*** = Mary Wittenberg would/has approved
**** = "boners galore"

1) Geographic Location
Nike Pre - Eugene ***
Reebok - New York City ****
Adidas - Carson, CA **
Trials - Eugene ***

Eugene as a city, like it or not, is the only town willing to put all their eggs in the track and field basket, and that is commendable in its own right. Even if its not an especially visible town nationwide. NYC is simply the media capital of the world, though, and will always generate a large crowd and, most especially, media hype. Carson is 22 minutes from LA according to my google maps, which doesn't seem that long I suppose, but as far as I'm concerned, ain't nothing in LA but rich hippies and people who are perpetually 3 hours behind me, no one I want at one of my track meets.

2) Venue
Nike Pre - Historic Hayward Field ***
Reebok - Icahn Stadium **
Adidas - Home Depot Center No Stars
Trials - Historic Hayward Field ***

Once again, like the Nike/Eugene marriage or not, what they have invested in track and field and Hayward field looks pretty cool right now. They updated things that needed to be updated but, as far as I can tell, didn't sacrifice too much of the authenticity. Although, putting "Historic Hayward Field" on the new jumbo-tron seems a bit forced. Icahn Stadium is cool, on an island and all, but it's impossible to get to without a car, and who wants to drive in NYC? The Home Depot is a boring store filled with employees that clearly don't want to help me out with my bundle of 4x4's. I don't understand why they are trying to hold a track meet in that kind of environment.

3) Website
Nike Pre - No Stars
Reebok - **
Adidas - ***
Trials - ****

The Pre website looks like my 15 year old cousin's geocities site. Reebok and Adidas are about the same, but Adidas has had a time schedule and starting lists posted for a while now and Reebok has NO updates. The Eugene08 website is top-notch, as it should be.

4) Marquee Race/Time Trial
Nike Pre - Bekele going for 10,000m WR, Meseret Defar going for 5,000m WR ***
Reebok - Usain Bolt v. Tyson Gay in 100m ****
Adidas - 7 of world's top 10 women in 100m No Stars
Trials - Every. American. Ever. ****

Two world record attempts at Pre is pretty impressive but, quite frankly, this smacks of little more than a publicity stunt. Count me as "doubtful" as to whether or not Bekele is actually ready and seriously going for a record or did the Pre folks promise him a free trip see "pre's rock"? Bolt v. Gay is HUGE. I wouldn't mind if Asafa Powell totally dropped off the radar. Bolt and Gay obviously aren't afraid of a challenge. Powell? Shaking. Boots. Adidas has a number of strong races and an overall great field, but no real "matchup" to speak of.

5) Ability to avoid attempts at squeezing any remaining juice from the already dry, shriveled up fruit that is a former track athlete's "legacy.," to the point where a track fan almost definitely resents said athlete.
Nike Pre - Negative Eleventy Billion Stars
Reebok - ****
Adidas - ****
Trials - Jury Still Out

Note to Nike/Lanana/Eugene08: please stop pimpin' Steve so hard. He's not going to be able to carry your company University's mystique forever. His abnormally broad, German shoulders are only so strong.

6) Overall
Nike Pre - *
Reebok - ***
Adidas - **
Trials - ****(times 1 million boners)

This could easily change after the fields fill out.

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Fantasy Track!

Most of you might already be aware of this, but the fossils wise elders over at USATF are actually doing something specifically geared toward track fans. This might be Visa's idea (in fact I'm sure it is) but USATF, in their infinite generosity, actually allowed it!

Track fans can now play fantasy track in a way similiar (but very different) to fantasy football or baseball. They also ran this for indoor, apparently. I wasn't informed. While the Visa Championship Series fantasy track is still in its most basic stage, meaning it is not nearly as "in-depth" and "fun" as your typical fantasy sports league, I like the idea a lot.



You can pick your team here. It's FREE! And you might win stuff too, but that's not the point really, now is it?

As it works now, you simply pick who you think will win in each event, men's and women's, at the next Visa championship series meet (Adidas Track Classic is this Sunday). After you pick your team, throw your team name and/or picks in the comments section below and we'll see who knows best (hint: According to many women, I'm great at "living in a fantasy world, you idiot" so I'm thinking this might be the perfect game for me).

It would be great if they ranked athletes (say 1-10 points, 10 being the top ranked in each event) and you could only use so many points to choose your team (say 75). Clearly, they are trying to make this as basic as possible so that they can get as many people to play as possible. Not a bad thing, I suppose.

Without further ado, my picks:

Team Name: LessThanOurBest.com (free pub aimed at anyone who looks toward the bottom of the leader board)

Men's Events
100m - Walace Spearmon (Gay is entered in 200m too, so I figure he'll scratch the 100)
200m - Tyson Gay
400m - Jeremy Wariner
800m - David Krummenaker (haven't decided yet if they accidentally put up a starting list from 2004)
1500m - Bernard Lagat
3000m - Jorge Torres
5000m - Markos Geneti
110m hurdles - Allen Johnson
400m hurdles - Bershawn Jackson (Bershawn is a great name isn't it)
Shot Put - Adam Nelson

Women's Events
100m - Lauryn Williams
200m - Allyson Felix
400m - Dee Dee Trotter
800m - Alice Schmidt
1500m - Shannon Rowbury (the mac of the minute right now)
3000m - Kara Goucher
100m hurdles - LoLo Jones
High Jump - Amy Acuff (hellooooo playboy)
Pole Vault - Jenn Stuczynski (she's Russian right? they always win the women's pole vault)

**Overall a pretty conservative list. Allen Johnson and Amy Acuff could be considered two lazy picks as they might be "old" (but they both had good seasons last year). Krummenacker is risky too, of course. But I really want Krummenacker to make a comeback, so that counts for something right? (no, it doesn't).

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