Now That's Some Solid Commentary

Carol Lewis: Paradigm of Eloquence.

There are times when athletic performances defy words. Their grace, their beauty, their place in history -- these are elements that are often ineffable. Michael Johnson's 200m world record. Any number of Michael Jordan dunks or end-game daggers. Olga Korbut's performance on the parallel bars...

And, of course, Terrence Trammell's win in the 110 hurdles at the Reebok Meet Saturday night...

See, at this moment, words fail me, too: I simply cannot express how bad Carol Lewis is at calling track and field.

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LTOB "USATF Pick-N-Win Contest" Contest Results: RBK GP

So... that was some meet. We had only sporadic rain, a near WR in the pole vault, and a couple of pretty impressive 5k's. So, not a bad night of track. Of course, my stomach was tied in knots all evening, as I was at the venue and, thus, unable to check my scores after each event. (I really need to invest in one of those computer-phone things with the Internet and everything. What are those called? The "Zune"?)

But now I've had a chance to check the scores, and I've compiled the results... which you can view, after the jump.

EAT IT AMERICA. Poonia pulled out (Ben said he didn't even know that was physically possible) and I still won. And you might think I'm glad we don't need to give out a prize now, but no: I'm keeping the would-be prize for myself.

PTS - place in USATF contest in parentheses - Overall place in USATF contest, after entry name
144 (111) - GivingLess (66)
128 (293) - Four Toes (105)
126 (317) - Running Down a Dream
126 (317) - Sulphur Springs
114 (513) - Optimal Training
114 (513) - LessThanOurBest.com
104 (649) - Columbia, SC Runner
n/a (n/a) - Simon Says
93 (763) - Predicted Winners

People have been congratulating me all weekend, and telling me how impressively I stuck it to "katie," and asking How did you do it? Well, all I can say is, you would be surprised how easy it is to slip laxative into athletes' water bottles when you bring along your hot cousin who isn't afraid to show a little cleavage. With a mirror wedged in there to shine a light in their eyes.

I'm now officially planning to attend the Pre Classic, so I can once again ensure my supremacy.

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Reebok Meet Pushed Back an Hour

I'm sure this is the best way to publicize a schedule change: put up a notice on your website the day of the event. I guess it's no big deal, really: people who show up for the regular schedule will just have to wait an hour, ala an MLB rain delay.

Ultimately, this is good a good move too, because it will allow me another hour to try to figure out who this "wineturtle" is on LetsRun's message board who purports to live in our neighborhood. The plan is to way-lay him before he can make it to the meet, and throw down with him in a skirmish to settle unadulterated supremacy of our neck of Queens, once and for all.

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Fearless Predictions: Red Bull and Guinness Edition

Less Than Our Best is concerned with very little. One of those few interests is Undercutters Pizza. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

This week, track fans will be focused on New York City, finally. LTOB will be in attendance; Jeremy close to the track actually working on work, and me in the nosebleeds working on a buzz that will make the women's discus fascinating. It should be an exciting night.

RBK Grand Prix
It's clear that the race organizers spent most of their resources getting Tyson Gay and Usain Bolt to race each other and let most of the other races kind of fill themselves out. Even so, there should still be some interesting results between guys who will be vying for Olympic team spots in a month.

--M100m--Usain Bolt sets the Icahn Stadium track on fire....literally. He was just trying to one-up Mo Green's famous stunt and it went horribly, horribly wrong.

--M800m--Khadevis v. Gary Reed v. Nick Willis (aka apple pie v. Labatt's blue v. flight of the conchords). That sounds like a good race and a good night of tv dinner. KD Rob wins! U-S-A.

--M1500m--Kevin Sullivan actually wins a race!! Lukezic is suprisingly beaten by Lomong who is suprisingly beaten by Jon Rankin (spoiler alert) for the third and final Olympic team spot (mark it!).

--M3000SC--Paul Koech wins easily. Famiglietti (who may or may not be racing depending on which start list you look at) dips unders 8:20. Also, the first American finisher in this race will make the Olympic team.

--M5000m--Unfortunate that the meet directors couldn't get a few more Americans here. Rod Koborsi will run 13:26.

--MShot--Adam Nelson. Goes. Crazy.

Border Duel
Rumor has it there are Nike Elite Women's 10,000m / Men's 5,000m Races on tap at this meet, but why would anyone want to know who's racing? No reason to have start lists on the meet website and certainly no reason to send out a press release more than a day before the meet.

As far as anyone can tell, Kara Goucher, Adam Goucher, and maybe Galen Rupp will be racing. It's like they are having an exclusive boy/girl party and none of us got invitations. I hope they don't get their Olympic qualifiers just like I hoped Jimmy Wilkens didn't get "7 minutes in heaven" at his 14th birthday party (I didn't want to go to your party anyway, Jimmy).

NCAA Regionals
The "NCAA championships prelims" as you might call them. Just like prelims, the top kguys don't run their hardest. Worth checking results, but not worth a prediction.

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Fantasy Track 2: RBK Grand Prix

Here's your reminder to make your picks and get your entry in for the LTOB "USATF Fantasy Track Pick 'N Win Contest" Contest. Last week, "Katie" won with her entry "Four Toes" -- we're still waiting for Katie to send us her contact information so we can send her the prize from last week. Katie: LessThanOurBest@gmail.com -- I promise, we won't sell your information to hardly anyone.

This week The Show pitches its tent on Randall's Island in New York City for the Reebok Grand Prix. Among the highlights, we've got a showdown between Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay in the 100m, AND we've got LTOB in attendance to make certain our predictions come to pass.

NEW ENTRANTS, PUT YOUR TEAM NAME IN A COMMENT, BELOW. Returning contestants, feel free to let the trash talking begin.

***Update: You can pick your teams HERE!***

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Rating the Meats

That's Easy:
1. Steak
2. Chicken
3. Sausage
4. Bolgna
5. Turkey

Now that that's out of the way, why don't we rate some TRACK meEts?

As you may or may not have heard by now, Keninisa Bekele has signed on to make an attempt at his 10,000 meter world record at the Prefontaine Classic in Eugene on June 8. This coming on the heels of the Reebok Grand Prix's announcement that the world's top two sprinters, Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay (that's right I said it Asafa, what are you gonna do about it?), will face each other over 100 meters. Along with that, Adidas has set up a great field for their Adidas Track Classic this coming Sunday.

Undoubtedly, the three best track events in America leading up to tha' Grandaddy of all American track events: the trials.

With these four meets, Nike, Reebok, Adidas, and Nike USATF seem dedicated to putting on top quality track and field meets. Let's have a look how each meet stacks up, shall we...


Here's how the ratings work:

No Stars = Is this a professional track meet or a 7th grade pizza party?!
* = 3 out of 4 LRC message boarders will bitch about
** = Runnerville will have suggestions
*** = Mary Wittenberg would/has approved
**** = "boners galore"

1) Geographic Location
Nike Pre - Eugene ***
Reebok - New York City ****
Adidas - Carson, CA **
Trials - Eugene ***

Eugene as a city, like it or not, is the only town willing to put all their eggs in the track and field basket, and that is commendable in its own right. Even if its not an especially visible town nationwide. NYC is simply the media capital of the world, though, and will always generate a large crowd and, most especially, media hype. Carson is 22 minutes from LA according to my google maps, which doesn't seem that long I suppose, but as far as I'm concerned, ain't nothing in LA but rich hippies and people who are perpetually 3 hours behind me, no one I want at one of my track meets.

2) Venue
Nike Pre - Historic Hayward Field ***
Reebok - Icahn Stadium **
Adidas - Home Depot Center No Stars
Trials - Historic Hayward Field ***

Once again, like the Nike/Eugene marriage or not, what they have invested in track and field and Hayward field looks pretty cool right now. They updated things that needed to be updated but, as far as I can tell, didn't sacrifice too much of the authenticity. Although, putting "Historic Hayward Field" on the new jumbo-tron seems a bit forced. Icahn Stadium is cool, on an island and all, but it's impossible to get to without a car, and who wants to drive in NYC? The Home Depot is a boring store filled with employees that clearly don't want to help me out with my bundle of 4x4's. I don't understand why they are trying to hold a track meet in that kind of environment.

3) Website
Nike Pre - No Stars
Reebok - **
Adidas - ***
Trials - ****

The Pre website looks like my 15 year old cousin's geocities site. Reebok and Adidas are about the same, but Adidas has had a time schedule and starting lists posted for a while now and Reebok has NO updates. The Eugene08 website is top-notch, as it should be.

4) Marquee Race/Time Trial
Nike Pre - Bekele going for 10,000m WR, Meseret Defar going for 5,000m WR ***
Reebok - Usain Bolt v. Tyson Gay in 100m ****
Adidas - 7 of world's top 10 women in 100m No Stars
Trials - Every. American. Ever. ****

Two world record attempts at Pre is pretty impressive but, quite frankly, this smacks of little more than a publicity stunt. Count me as "doubtful" as to whether or not Bekele is actually ready and seriously going for a record or did the Pre folks promise him a free trip see "pre's rock"? Bolt v. Gay is HUGE. I wouldn't mind if Asafa Powell totally dropped off the radar. Bolt and Gay obviously aren't afraid of a challenge. Powell? Shaking. Boots. Adidas has a number of strong races and an overall great field, but no real "matchup" to speak of.

5) Ability to avoid attempts at squeezing any remaining juice from the already dry, shriveled up fruit that is a former track athlete's "legacy.," to the point where a track fan almost definitely resents said athlete.
Nike Pre - Negative Eleventy Billion Stars
Reebok - ****
Adidas - ****
Trials - Jury Still Out

Note to Nike/Lanana/Eugene08: please stop pimpin' Steve so hard. He's not going to be able to carry your company University's mystique forever. His abnormally broad, German shoulders are only so strong.

6) Overall
Nike Pre - *
Reebok - ***
Adidas - **
Trials - ****(times 1 million boners)

This could easily change after the fields fill out.

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