Fearless Predictions: Sit-And-Kick Edition (Now With Minimal Predictions!!)

Less Than Our Best is concerned with very little. One of those few interests is exposing Kevin Garnett's homophobia. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:

1) Adidas Track Classic
See my picks for each event here.

Also, don't forget to enter the contest here and WIN BIG!

2) Conference Meets
As I've said before, Conference meets are amazing. The exciting races and team competition is probably the best thing about competing in college track. The different personalities of each conference make each championship's experience unique and interesting in different ways. Unfortunately, the nature of track coverage has me following conference meets from my computer, not on tv or live video.

As thrilling as my computer can be, if I go to certain sites (yikes!), refreshing results pages on the Pac-10 meet is not how I want to spend Saturday night. I want to spend Saturday night sipping $3 PBR cans and slurring loudly into the ears of potential mothers of my children. Clearly.

3) Healthy Kidney 10k
On my commute in and out of the city for the last 3 weeks I've ogled noticed the huge promotional posters of Dathan Ritzenhein in the Healthy Kidney 10k. After last week, the posters just reminded me of the pain that will be a Ritz-less field this weekend.

Some "experts" still think it will be a good field with dos Santos, Goumri, and Patrick Makau. I'd still rather have Ritz, dammit.

On the bright side, two of the best personalities in road racing will be there in Andrew Carlson and Richard Kiplagat. Though arguably not in the same league as the top three, these two are fan favorites and I really want them to do well (means they probably won't do well).

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What They Didn't Tell You: March 3rd

When you're reporting on MAC track, you know it's a slow week. You know it's an even slower week than you thought when your co-editor doesn't even rise to your baiting about his former conference. What they didn't tell you about the light-on-news Indoor Conference Championships, after the jump...

Tyson David won the 5k at SEC's in 13:52 over a trio of Razorbacks not named Ken Cormier. But though his name could be backwards in the results and you would never know, you DO know that since Tyson David or David Tyson or Ty Davidson runs distance at Alabama, whatever his name, he's a Kenyan.

Colorado went 1-2-3-4 in the 5k at Big 12's. After the impressive display, Coach Mark Wetmore turned to reporters and said, "Vegas, baby. Vegas." While stroking his ponytail.

51 competitors in the 3000 at Big 12's. One heat.* Very messy.

Big Ten mile won in 4:22. By a girl.*

That Cornell did something good (won Heps) and that they are coached by LetsRun's Rojo. Just kidding: LetsRun always tells you those two things when given the chance.

In non-conference action, the US Men tooled those Special-Bacon-Eating Canadiens at the NACAC cross country championships in Orlando, taking the top 2 spots and the team title. But in a display of international camaraderie, members from each team paired off with their rivals to ride Space Mountain, then slurped down some fried ham on It's a Small World at Epcot.

Alabama's aforementioned David Tyson is the nephew of poultry magnate Lewis Tyson III, and is the one who has been providing Adam Nelson with all that chicken.

*May or may not be totally made up.

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NCAA Conference Meets Results

These are all the big boys from this week. Plus the MAC. Because, beyond all rational explanation, Ben seems to continue to care about these. Seriously, since when did Michigan directional schools matter in sports?

ACC

Atlantic Sun

BIG 11

BIG 12

HEPS

MAC

SEC

If we report on the MAC we might as well report on the MEAC or Big Sky conferences. I'm drawing a line.

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Indoor Conference Weekend: Where's the Buffet?

One of our favorite Mark Wetmore metaphors goes like this: "Track and field is Carnegie Hall; indoor track is Las Vegas, and cross country is Woodstock." I never really believed that until I woke up naked in a puddle of mud after the Toledo Cross Country Invitational. Jeremy never believed it until he woke up naked playing a violin the morning after the IC4A meet. Wetmore: coach, prophet.

We also really like Las Vegas because, just like indoor track, whatever happens there, stays there (read: is forgotten in a few months). After the jump, getting to know your indoor conference meets like you know your favorite things you find only in Vegas.

SEC Championships
Like the conservative southern tourists that have finally found an excuse to see a group of very flexible men embrace each other.

***SEC distance events are spectacularly unspectacular this year with no real stars to watch.

***Could Coach McDonnel’s comments about his nancy-boy DMR break the team spirit and lead to a disastrous weekend for the ‘backs? I don’t know, but I’m sure they will be serving sweet tea at the concession stands, so that’s good.

MAC Championships
Like the 7am crowd at the craps table. Yeah, a lot of the players have left (western mich., ball st., ohio, etc.) but you know that the ones left are the most hardcore players out there. The kind that will put their first born up against two jacks (I’m looking at you Coach Lawson) or the kind that will create a 7th year of eligibility for their runners (I’m looking at no one in particular...)

***Go Flashes!

***Hopefully it comes down to the final event and someone streams that shit live. The MAC indoor 4x4 is the most exciting 3 minutes in sport. There, I said it.

Big Ten Championships
Like a Neil Diamond concert at the MGM Grand Casino. Tough. Gritty. Forever in blue jeans.

***Distance races are always slow as balls but sound exciting when reading accounts of them on the message boards. That reminds me, gotta order that Big Ten Network on the satellite.

Big 12 Championships
Like the bachelorette party hogging all the time on the mechanical Bull. No one knows where this party is headed but something unexpectedly good always pops up. If you play your cards right, there’s definite hook-up possibilities.

***Texas. Manzano. DMR. World Record. You heard it here first, I like this Texas team, I think they got some real skill. Certainly the best indoor distance team in the nation.

***Downside: meet is in Nebraska Try the corn, I hear it’s delicious over there.

Heptagonal Championships
Like the uptight businessmen at a conference. They’re usually all business, but nothing's gonna stop them from having a good time in the city of sin on the company’s dime. Hey Grayson, your stripper needs more high priced champagne? Sure, it’s on the boss’ dime. Puff puff pass, Thompson, puff puff PASS!"

***I don’t know anything about this conference, only the stereotypes that I perpetuate for people who are smarter, more successful, and richer than me.

***Apparently this meet is a big deal to them.

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Conference Meets: Results

Youch. A tough weekend for the alma maters. Lots of tight, quality races, but no major shocks, other than the return of the Frank Stallone of West Chester, NY, Matthew Kiplagat.

A-10 - LaSalle wins. Shocker. Richmond pretty impressive to nab 2nd. But still, no one outside the conference cares.
ACC - Virginia 32, over NC State's 39 despite the Pack putting 6 in the top 13. 3rd place? 130 (Florida State). Products from the state of Ohio go 1-4-7-14, proving that, though oft-maligned, The Heart of It All is pretty much awesome at running and life. Chris Kollar says adieu to Biladeau by 6 seconds. Sam Bryfczynski, unfortunately, could only manage 23rd.
Big East - Showing yet again that it is, for my money, the best distance-running conference in the country: Mann gets the Cards to the top of the heap, winning a close one over Georgetown, 55-60, with Providence at 74, Notre Dame 93, Syracuse 103, Villanova 124. And remember how folks were ready to send Nova to the Dance a couple weeks ago after Paul Short? The win over Georgetown, AND Providence/Syracuse (are we still considering the Orangemen a threat to get 2nd in the NE?) gives Louisville a little breathing room in the tough Southeast region. Nova could throw them another point, as well. Individuals: Curtis, Korir, Smyth, Smith, with 10 seconds between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, but only 1 second separating 3rd & 4th.
Big 10 - Wisco with ease: 33 points. Wisconsin ran what would appear to be the A-team; Michigan 5th behind THE Minnesota University, THE OSU and THE Indiana University. Minnesota well-clear in 2nd with 65 points, Withrow takes individual title, Letsrun message board crashed by speculation on individual national title chances.
MAC - EMU. Perrin wins. Miami 2nd. All, as expected.
PAC-10 - Oregon 39, Stanford 55, Cal 70. Shadrack & Rupp 1-2, with room to spare; finish that night's celebratory bacon and olive pizza from Papa Dino's in lockstep, as well.

Patriot - American by a point over Navy. Army third. And in the Patriot League, that's the way it should be. (Fennell then Hallinan, with Fennell over 20 seconds in front.)
SEC - Arkansas, Florida, Bama, Tennessee.

Pat Summit League - Southern Utah throttles Oakland, IUPUI. Baumgartner not even needed, and, as teammate Mark Currell triumphs, he looks on from a lawnchair, a cooler full of lukewarm Schlitz's at his side. Does life get any better?

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Conference Meets: Friday Results

-- Out in the Heartland, Colorado won the Big XII meet. Again. Snooze.
-- MAACs: do we even need to type who won? Evan Garber, you failed!
-- And apparently they also went ahead with Heps in the rain, too. Princeton over Cornell.

The rest of the weekend starts today. Or something like that. I'm still really hungover.

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Weekend Meets Preview: Conferences

There's a lot going on this weekend. So to help you sift through the raft of conference meets that are coming up in a few short days, we've put together a little guide to the juiciest conference meets on tap. After the jump: getting to know each D1 conference like you know your favorite recording artists.


It's hard to keep up on each of the many conferences that will be competing this weekend, so we compare each of the major conferences to their natural cognate in the music world. Read on to better familiarize yourself:

ATLANTIC 10: Oasis –– The greatest rock band since the Beatles. Or, maybe more accurately, washed up and self-important. By the way: Wonderwall wasn’t even that great of a song to begin with.

HEPS: Radiohead –– Man, they take themselves seriously, don’t they? And maybe they’re a little too smart for their own good, got a little too plugged into the whole sociopolitical-consciousness thing, what with this “pay what you wish for our album” business, which could only have been hatched by some sort of granola-making neo-hippie agro-commune. But they’ve got talent. Dammit, they’ve got talent.

BIG 10: Paris Hilton –– What’s that you say? Not a recording artist? Ha! Like the Big 10, this girl is just fantastic at pretty much everything she tries. Being a socialite. Reality TV star. Movie star. Internet star. And, of course, pop star. Of course the nay-sayers claim she’s just getting by on reputation. But they’re just jealous.

BIG 12: Michael Bolton –– Powerful vocals. Surprisingly handsome looks. The ability to overcome a history of bad hair and parlay his affection for ping pong into a relationship with one of the Desperate Housewives. You take cheap-shots at him, and never, never, never admit to liking his music, but “Said I Loved You But I Lied”? “How Can We Be Lovers (If We Can’t Be Friends)”? There’s just no denying what a good couple of cuts those are.

PATRIOT LEAGUE: Iron & Wine –– Mellow and easy on the ears. Throw in a wicked beard and you’ve got the kind of conference you want to listen to while kicking back and chiefing on a giant joint of medicinal hemp.

CONFERENCE USA: Destiny’s Child –– Marquette and Cincinnati left to pursue a career in the movies. St. Louis wanted to return to its gospel roots. And TCU suddenly thought it was SO much prettier than everyone else. What's left are the roadies and back-up dancers who I bet you didn’t know, still tour under the “DC” name, playing some of the biggest, most prestigious bowling alleys and Knights of Columbus halls across the country.

MAC: Steve Winwood –– Can’t say nothing bad about Steve Winwood. He’s blue collar, he’s sorta old school (he played with Eric Clapton for chrissakes!), the college kids like his stuff from the 80’s. Some real nice hits once upon a time. But he’s a dying breed. Steve Winwood just likes his football too much.

SEC: David Lee Roth –– That might actually be a picture of Chris Kattan as David Lee Roth. No matter.

BIG WEST: The Polk Street Elementary Sixth Grade Mixed Choir –– I guess they’re fairly talented but it’s just a bunch of kids from the same neighborhood, so their concerts are only supported by their parents, grandparents and very begrudging siblings. Not the national following they could, and, probably should have. I mean, afterall: did you hear that arrangement of “Only the Good Die Young”? Tabitha James absolutely sold the solo in the second verse.

ACC : Captain and Tenille –– Classy. Timeless. Nautical.

MWC: Gwar –– For no particular reason. Why is that guy, with no apparent musical responsibilities, standing in the back of the picture with so much fake blood on him?

BIG EAST: Aerosmith & Run DMC on “Walk This Way” –– On paper it looks like an unlikely marriage. But you mix it all together – I believe the kids call it a “mash up” these days – and what comes out on the other end is pure sonic bliss – at least according to bjw. Afterall, he wakes up every morning and immediately puts this song on repeat so that it will get him up and at ‘em, and will remain ready to greet him when he walks back through the front door, as if to ensconce him in supple arms and whisper in his ear, “You’re home.”

PAC-10: Coldplay –– you know how I know you’re gay?

You like the Pac-10.

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