Less Than Our Best: Big 10

Youch. A tough weekend for the alma maters. Lots of tight, quality races, but no major shocks, other than the return of the Frank Stallone of West Chester, NY, Matthew Kiplagat.

A-10 - LaSalle wins. Shocker. Richmond pretty impressive to nab 2nd. But still, no one outside the conference cares.
ACC - Virginia 32, over NC State's 39 despite the Pack putting 6 in the top 13. 3rd place? 130 (Florida State). Products from the state of Ohio go 1-4-7-14, proving that, though oft-maligned, The Heart of It All is pretty much awesome at running and life. Chris Kollar says adieu to Biladeau by 6 seconds. Sam Bryfczynski, unfortunately, could only manage 23rd.
Big East - Showing yet again that it is, for my money, the best distance-running conference in the country: Mann gets the Cards to the top of the heap, winning a close one over Georgetown, 55-60, with Providence at 74, Notre Dame 93, Syracuse 103, Villanova 124. And remember how folks were ready to send Nova to the Dance a couple weeks ago after Paul Short? The win over Georgetown, AND Providence/Syracuse (are we still considering the Orangemen a threat to get 2nd in the NE?) gives Louisville a little breathing room in the tough Southeast region. Nova could throw them another point, as well. Individuals: Curtis, Korir, Smyth, Smith, with 10 seconds between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, but only 1 second separating 3rd & 4th.
Big 10 - Wisco with ease: 33 points. Wisconsin ran what would appear to be the A-team; Michigan 5th behind THE Minnesota University, THE OSU and THE Indiana University. Minnesota well-clear in 2nd with 65 points, Withrow takes individual title, Letsrun message board crashed by speculation on individual national title chances.
MAC - EMU. Perrin wins. Miami 2nd. All, as expected.
PAC-10 - Oregon 39, Stanford 55, Cal 70. Shadrack & Rupp 1-2, with room to spare; finish that night's celebratory bacon and olive pizza from Papa Dino's in lockstep, as well.

Patriot - American by a point over Navy. Army third. And in the Patriot League, that's the way it should be. (Fennell then Hallinan, with Fennell over 20 seconds in front.)
SEC - Arkansas, Florida, Bama, Tennessee.

Pat Summit League - Southern Utah throttles Oakland, IUPUI. Baumgartner not even needed, and, as teammate Mark Currell triumphs, he looks on from a lawnchair, a cooler full of lukewarm Schlitz's at his side. Does life get any better?

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There's a lot going on this weekend. So to help you sift through the raft of conference meets that are coming up in a few short days, we've put together a little guide to the juiciest conference meets on tap. After the jump: getting to know each D1 conference like you know your favorite recording artists.

It's hard to keep up on each of the many conferences that will be competing this weekend, so we compare each of the major conferences to their natural cognate in the music world. Read on to better familiarize yourself:

ATLANTIC 10: Oasis –– The greatest rock band since the Beatles. Or, maybe more accurately, washed up and self-important. By the way: Wonderwall wasn’t even that great of a song to begin with.

HEPS: Radiohead –– Man, they take themselves seriously, don’t they? And maybe they’re a little too smart for their own good, got a little too plugged into the whole sociopolitical-consciousness thing, what with this “pay what you wish for our album” business, which could only have been hatched by some sort of granola-making neo-hippie agro-commune. But they’ve got talent. Dammit, they’ve got talent.

BIG 10: Paris Hilton –– What’s that you say? Not a recording artist? Ha! Like the Big 10, this girl is just fantastic at pretty much everything she tries. Being a socialite. Reality TV star. Movie star. Internet star. And, of course, pop star. Of course the nay-sayers claim she’s just getting by on reputation. But they’re just jealous.

BIG 12: Michael Bolton –– Powerful vocals. Surprisingly handsome looks. The ability to overcome a history of bad hair and parlay his affection for ping pong into a relationship with one of the Desperate Housewives. You take cheap-shots at him, and never, never, never admit to liking his music, but “Said I Loved You But I Lied”? “How Can We Be Lovers (If We Can’t Be Friends)”? There’s just no denying what a good couple of cuts those are.

PATRIOT LEAGUE: Iron & Wine –– Mellow and easy on the ears. Throw in a wicked beard and you’ve got the kind of conference you want to listen to while kicking back and chiefing on a giant joint of medicinal hemp.

CONFERENCE USA: Destiny’s Child –– Marquette and Cincinnati left to pursue a career in the movies. St. Louis wanted to return to its gospel roots. And TCU suddenly thought it was SO much prettier than everyone else. What's left are the roadies and back-up dancers who I bet you didn’t know, still tour under the “DC” name, playing some of the biggest, most prestigious bowling alleys and Knights of Columbus halls across the country.

MAC: Steve Winwood –– Can’t say nothing bad about Steve Winwood. He’s blue collar, he’s sorta old school (he played with Eric Clapton for chrissakes!), the college kids like his stuff from the 80’s. Some real nice hits once upon a time. But he’s a dying breed. Steve Winwood just likes his football too much.

SEC: David Lee Roth –– That might actually be a picture of Chris Kattan as David Lee Roth. No matter.

BIG WEST: The Polk Street Elementary Sixth Grade Mixed Choir –– I guess they’re fairly talented but it’s just a bunch of kids from the same neighborhood, so their concerts are only supported by their parents, grandparents and very begrudging siblings. Not the national following they could, and, probably should have. I mean, afterall: did you hear that arrangement of “Only the Good Die Young”? Tabitha James absolutely sold the solo in the second verse.

ACC : Captain and Tenille –– Classy. Timeless. Nautical.

MWC: Gwar –– For no particular reason. Why is that guy, with no apparent musical responsibilities, standing in the back of the picture with so much fake blood on him?

BIG EAST: Aerosmith & Run DMC on “Walk This Way” –– On paper it looks like an unlikely marriage. But you mix it all together – I believe the kids call it a “mash up” these days – and what comes out on the other end is pure sonic bliss – at least according to bjw. Afterall, he wakes up every morning and immediately puts this song on repeat so that it will get him up and at ‘em, and will remain ready to greet him when he walks back through the front door, as if to ensconce him in supple arms and whisper in his ear, “You’re home.”