What They Didn't Tell You: 25k Champs

No formalities this week: straight ahead to What They Didn't Tell You...

I was totally remiss on Friday for not telling you all that it was a certain someone's birthday. No, no, not mine: ben's. 24 years old, and he still looks as good as ever. The highlight of the evening was his "dead-eye" performance in beer pong (called Beirut by idiots everywhere), where he rode my coattails, and hot-shooting all evening. By the third game he was trying to bounce-in every shot, shouting "It's my birthday, biotch!" after each miss.

Brian Sell won the USATF 25k Champs at the 5/3d River Band Run in Grand Rapids. No AR, no exciting stretch run... but he DID beat a guy named Wellay Weldegiyorgis. Just like a good, 'Merican, working man should.

Some guy named Travis Padgett ran 9.96 for the 100m dash at the Orange & Purple Classic, which makes him 2nd fastest in the world this year. What they didn't tell you was that apparently you can just start slapping the word "Classic" on the end of any old meet now. Because let me tell you: nothing combining the colors orange and purple should ever be considered "classic."

Andrew Wheating ran 3:38 for 1500m at the Oregon Twilight Meet, impressive considering he played soccer throughout high school. What they didn't tell you was that this (retroactively) makes Wheating the first case where a runner has said "There's this kid in my school, but he plays soccer, but he's really really fast, and I'm telling you, he could be one of the best runners in the state if he just came out for track..." and it actually panned out.

As you all know, Barack Obama showed up at the meet. But what went unreported was that, in an embarassing gaffe, he was repeatedly offered fried chicken by meet volunteers: apparently the Eugene08 diversity training hadn't yet finished the unit covering "Black People Like Foods Other than Fried Chicken."

It was a full weekend for the Ritzenheins with Baby getting baptized, Mrs. racing the 25k at the 5/3 Run, and Grandmother celebrated her 94th Birthday! All agreed that the high point of the weekend was Grandma Ritzenhein trying to bounce-in each pass on the doily she was crocheting, while shouting "It's my birthday, biotch!"

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Fearless Predictions: Not Every Weekend can be Thrilling Edition

Less Than Our Best is concerned with very little. One of those few interests is The Jeannie Tate Show. The other is acting like we have some expertise in predicting things. Here's a few things that will LITERALLY happen this weekend:


Sure, there's the first Super Grand Prix meet this weekend. And yeah, there's some decent college last chance meets that might yield suprising results. And, of course, there is that US national road championship (with the most anemic field of the year by the way), but this weekend is just a huge bummer compared to every weekend since January.

Fortunately, they invented a little game called beer pong for such weekends.

1) Brian Sell wins his third US 25k title. It's a given at this point. Peter Gilmore hasn't made much noise since I don't know when and the rest of the field lacks any proven competitors. Surely, though, someone will emerge from this field and suprise Sell by giving him a run. Who that will be, I don't know, I don't like trying to predict things.

2) Like I said, not much happening this weekend in our little running world, so I'll leave you with this clip.



As far as I'm concerned, there is no way this was an accident. Mr. Redlegs is far to nimble to take such a spill unless he was somehow sabotaged.

The two suspects:

'Gapper' This bastard son of Snuffleupagus and the Philly Fanatic had it out for the older, wiser, more beloved Mr. Redlegs ever since he came on the scene a few years ago.

'Mr. Met' Blatent rip-off of Mr. Redlegs. A basebell as a head? Come on, New York, don't act like you came up with that by yourself. I'll be at the Reds/Mets series this weekend at Shea, so you better belive Mr. Met will be suffering a similar "accident." Only more painful. And beer will have to be involved.

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There's a National Championship this Weekend. Really!!

In the interest of keeping fans abreast of all that is running news, allow us to be the first to inform you that someone, somewhere in Michigan is holding a USATF 25k championship on Saturday. It seems that no one decided to tell any top American distance runners, though.

"I just found it on the internet one day while I was trolling message boards," said oft-unheralded American marathoner Peter Gilmore. "No one told me nothing. No one ever tells me nothing! I started in FREAKING corral FREAKING 'C' at the FREAKING Boston marathon in '05. I finished 10th! My chip time was 2:10! Would it kill someone to give a guy a FREAKING heads up?! BIIIIITCH!!"

When asked if he found the race on the internet as well, U.S. Olympic marathon team member and the only other notable "name" in the 25k field, Brian Sell remarked, "In...ter...NET? What's that? Is it like one of those things we sell in the ceramics department?"

Sell actually was never told about the race. He was simply instructed by his coaches to do a 25k "tempo" in Grand Rapids on Saturday.

"A Race? Oh-ho-ho-ho, Those Hanson brothers are some real sly, slippery, snakes," said Sell. "They know how to push 'ol Selly's buttons. I oughta knock them on their asses. Oh well, I'll do it, the race. Sometimes you gotta do stuff you don't want for the good of the team. Like throw a down-field block, or go to war, or endorse a pansy ass car company insteaduh' Chevy. I'll do it, but i don't gotta like it, knowwhatImean?"

We do know what you mean Selly. We do.

If you are wondering who is winning in that oh-so-nebulous USA Running Circuit, here are the standings through 5 events (sloppily copied and pasted from usatf.org):

Men

Place Name Points
1 James Carney 15
2 Andrew Carlson 15
3 Jason Lehmkuhle 12
4 Dan Browne 12
5 Fernando Cabada 11
6 Steve Sundell 10
7 Fasil Bizuneh 10
8 Brian Sell 7
9 Patrick Gildea 6
10 Jason Hartmann 6
11 Rod Koborsi 5
12 Bret Schoolmeester 5
13 Ryan Kirkpatrick 4
14 Josh Simpson 3
15 Matt Gabrielson 3
16 Brett Gotcher 3
17 Luke Humphrey 3

Women

Place Name Points
1 Deena Kastor 45
2 Magdalena Lewy Boulet 24
3 Tera Moody 21
4 Blake Russell 20
5 Zoila Gomez 16
6 Kate O'Neill 15
7 Turena Johnson Lane 14
8 Desiree Davila 12
Katie McGregor 12
10 Serena Burla 10
Tara Storage 10
12 Ann Alyanak 8
13 Nicole Aish 7
Mandi Zemba 7
15 Kristen Nicolini Lehmkuhle 6
Samia Akbar 6
Dot McMahan 6
18 Katerine Newberry 5
19 Robyn Friedman 4
20 Dot McMahan 3
Annie Bersagel 3
22 Kara Storage 2
Erin Moeller 2
24 Melissa White 1
Stephanie Herbst-Lucke 1

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LTOB Guest Editorial

Less Than Our Best is dedicated to providing the most relevant, intelligent coverage and discussion of the world of running that we care about. Many times our small voice in our small corner of the world is just not sufficient and we are forced to bring in guests from the world of running who have a unique insight or experience. This is one of those times.

Today our guest editorializer is:

The Tree That Hit Brian Sell at the 15k US Champs

First of all, my name is Bradley and I would have appreciated it if the LTOB guys would have taken the time to find that out. Real crack team of journalists these guys are.

Anyway, they are the only ones who would let me tell my side of the story, so I had to go with them. Letsrun laughed in my face. Trackshark sent me a polite no. Even Flotrack declined, and they put ANYTHING and EVERYTHING up on that damn site.

So here's what happened. I'm chillin' on the side of the road. Beautiful day, a little windy, but beautiful. I'm just standing around, minding my own's when this Brian Sell character is all "look at me! I'm running! I have a handlebar mustache and a humble disposition."

So I'm all "if you're so humble why're you trying to win this race. Why'ren't you letting other people win?"

And he fires back "'cause I work harder than them. I work at Home Depot bitch! You know what that means?"

Me: "Chyeah, I do. It means you're too busy texting on your Sidekick to help me find some fucking blue paint for my garage."

He: "Oh Yeah? I'll side kick your ass"

And he did. Kicked me right in my side by the hole where a raccoon family lives (luckily they were out to brunch at the time so no one was hurt).

At this point in the altercation I am, I think justifiably, pissed. So I decide to smack him. It wasn't even a "hit" really, so for someone to ask "did Brian Sell get hit by a tree?" is just crazy. I gave him a quick back hand slap that would barely hurt a fly. Hardly touched him really. And, of course, no one saw me get kicked, they just saw my (justified) retaliation.

Of course Brian "the baby" Sell sees an opportunity to ham it up for the media, again. He blows things all out of proportion by crying about it to anyone who would listen and, as a result, make ME look like the bad guy. Everybody keeps coming up to me saying "Bradley, why'd you hit that guy?" and " Bradley, I can't believe you hit that guy." and "Bradley. Hit guy. Why?" You can guess how mad it makes a tree when people are constantly asking you why you hit some guy.

So, you can believe me or not running public. I swear I didn't try to "hit" your precious running dandy, just teach him a little respect. It never would have happened if he wasn't being such a jerk and if he didn't kick me first. And it never would have been a story if Brian took it like a man. If you ask me, you runners need to toughen up a bit, or at least Brian needs to.

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USATF 15k Champs: A Tasty Treat

With all the confusion and misdirection that goes on in the running world this time of year (some people training, some starting to race, some still wrapping up their indoor season) it's great when a race like this weekend's 15k comes up. It's not even in the forefront of U.S. road racing as the huge 8k championships in NYC has cast a considerable shadow for being more than a week away.

Nevertheless, this weekend's race will be very interesting. If next weekend is all about Webb v. Ritz (v. Abdirahman v. Torres v. a loaded field), this weekend will be all about Abdi v. Sell (v. a crew cut).

Abdi is resurfacing for the first time after dropping out of the marathon trials where he was considered a favorite and Sell will be facing his first real competition of his winter road racing season. I think Abdi might have some proving to do. Sell has been up there on his high horse ever since that fateful day in November and LTOB has heard from reliable sources that Abdi is out for blood, blue collar blood. I'm pumped.

All the talk last year was about Meb and Ryan Hall trying to break the incomparable Todd William's course/American record of 42:22. That never got close to happening, and even if it did, I'm sure Todd would have been 200 meters from the finish ready to put them both in a Jiu-Jitsu submission hold.

Who's running and what makes them interesting after the jump.




Abdi Abdirahman
The Black Cactus is angry about 2 things: 1. The patented "Brian Sell Smug" and 2. Shaq is trying to bogart his nickname. He plans to take out his aggression on the mean streets of Jacksonville.

Brian Sell
Here's what I think will happen. Sell and Abdi trade leads the whole way. Sell kicks down Abdi with 400 to go, truns around, and gives him the "double gun shoot, spin and holster," you know what I'm talking about. Wow, this guy has a real attitude problem.

Jason Lehmkuhle
Lemkuhle-hand Luke and James Carney are the faces of a rapidly growing "second-tier" group of runners that are running fast and winning races in America and one of them is bound to break through soon. I would take one of these guys over a Brown, Culpepper, and maybe even a Meb right now at any road distance. Call me crazy, but a shift is definitely in motion.

Fernando Cabada
King Cobra could come out of nowhere. He did break the American 25k record and I could picture him talking shit to other runners, which means I really like this guy and want him to make some World Champs and Olympic teams in the future.

Fasil Bizuneh
He always finishes close, right?

Daniel Browne
'ol crew cut really needs a performance that proves he is still in the upper echelon of American distance running.

Andrew Carlson
Josh Eberly
Matthew Gabrielson
Brett Gotcher
Jason Hartmann
Luke Humphrey
Mbarak Hussein
I suppose these guys might finish as well.

***If you're looking for predictions, tune in tomorrow when we literally tell you how the race will literally go down.

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Trials Weekend Hangover

Monday morning found me nursing all the usual symptoms of a crazy weekend: dizziness, nausea, pangs of regret, and waking up in bed with someone unfamiliar and threatening.

Looking back on this most eagerly anticipated weekend in recent memory, I am struck by how pleased I am with how it went. In this crazy mixed up world, events rarely live up to expectations (see: new year's eve, class reunions, Blades of Glory) but this weekend came about as close as possible.

First off, I dare someone to complain about how the trials, as an event, was executed. That unfamiliar and threatening stranger that I climbed into bed with this weekend is the New York Road Runners and, while guilt is inevitable when starting things up with such an oft-maligned partner, they proved to me this weekend that they are willing to work hard to please me.

The trials was everything the NYRR proposed it could be and they pulled it off as gracefully and excitingly as possible. Mary Wittenberg served up her famous kool-aid and I gulped it down (mmm...lemon lime).

That said, I certainly was cursing them when I peeled myself out of bed at 6:30 in the morning. As many of you know, a 7:30am start is not conducive to a Friday night house party that degenerates into a sloppy game of flip cup and a Beastie Boys dance party (You can sing along too! Just shout the last word in every line).

While I know that many in the running community may not share my viewpoint, and it may not even be logistically possible what with the lack of daylight and all, but I would much rather have had a 7:30pm start. With which, we would be able to tailgate, generate excitement through the sharing of spirits (which would lead to us shouting all sorts of fun things as the race progressed), and go straight to the bars afterward for a night full of new regrets, failed hook-ups, and a certain conviction to get our asses training to make the next trials. But I digress.

The top three result of the trials was about as rewarding as the event execution itself. One thing a distance runner will always cherish, if not the occassional whistle heard while running from a purty girl (or guy, I'm not judging), is hope. Hope that the next run/race/season/year will bring better results. With that in mind, Hall and Ritz going one two, being 25 and 24 respectively, is about the best an American distance fan can hope for. I thought for sure Abdi would be in the top 3, but Sell going is just as well (mainly because Hanson's deserves the congratulations and the press, and 'ol handlebars deserves it because of his hard work and blah blah blah).

It is hard to picture a trials being pulled off as well as this one. While I will be at the next one as a runner (I went out to the bars afterward and made some convictions despite the early start), I hope other organizations will hold themselves to the standard that my new bedmate set this past weekend.

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Whats A "Blue Collar"?

It is obvious that every old school/long hair/mutton chopped running fan in America wants Brian Sell to win on Saturday. They also want him to change the oil in their car and drink a can of Budweiser afterward. There is a clear image surrounding Sell in the running community, and I am not so sure it is entirely warranted.

As you can tell by the number of modifiers in that last sentence, I am wary of how such a statement might be taken. I am all for blue collar running. It is the hardcore, independent, pick yourself up by your own bootstraps and run fast as hell image that I someday would like to portray myself. I just don't think that applies to Sell.

It's not his fault. From what I can tell, Sell is a great guy who works really hard and deserves all the attention and good results that he gets. And he gets quite a bit. He did run 2:10 in Boston after all, which puts you in elite American marathoning status as far as I'm concerned.

He gets full support from Hansons and other places and is not exactly scraping by. In short: he is doing everything he can with his considerable resources to race as fast as he possibly can. What people don't want to admit though, is that he is doing everything that the so-called white collar elite guys are doing.

Yes, he is running 150 mile weeks while other guys, Abdi and Ritz for instance, are doing a bit less. That just means those guys don't think it would help them. Somehow this makes them less hardcore than Sell. I am 100% sure that if the shorter mileage guys thought running 300 mile weeks would make them better, they would do it. They do other things that are equally taxing with the considerable resources that they have. In short, again: Sell is working as hard as everyone and anyone else out there.

Mainly, I am just a bit put off that a guy like Sell, who is definitely an elite runner who gets all of the resources, income, and accolades that other elite runners get, has somehow taken the label of blue collar from the guys who actually are what I consider to be "blue collar" runners.

My guess is that most of the guys in the trials with real jobs, like most guys in America, are no longer working their 40 hours in some factory making elevator buttons or replacing car bumpers. Rather, they are working the "new blue collar" jobs, like underwriter at an insurance company, or data entry at a ne...wait, what was I talking about, I must have dosed off. For anyone who has experienced such a job, you know how draining and spirit destroying they are.

Believe it or not, there are a lot of guys out there who are living life like you and I, working (at least) 40 hour weeks at a soul sucking, uninspiring job, and still managing some seriously fast times (2:14s even). That is blue collar. Running miles and miles through predawn suburbia while the wife and kids are fast asleep in a safe, comfortable house that is paid for by heading to work right after that morning run with only a coffee cup's worth of support.

The fact: These guys are blue collar runners. They may not have the privilege of sleeping past 5:30, but let's at least let them keep the title. Sell seems like a great guy, but let's call a spade a spade. He is a professional runner no matter how dirty his fingernails are after his shift at Home Depot.

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