IAAF Hopping on the USATF Gravy Train

The IAAF is now offering their own spin on fantasy athletics, this time, called "Fantasy Athletics." It looks like they are offering a more robust game-playing experience, with the option to do a "buddy league" -- which I can only imagine allows you to join a sub-league for bragging rights among friends and folks you've only met on the Internet.

But what I'm MOST excited about is that the IAAF's game will allow you to compete against "celebrity teams." Now, they haven't announced yet which celebrities will be lending their names to the teams surely to be picked by some know-it-all IAAF statistician, but I think we can all agree on one person that we hope will be in there: Miley Cyrus.

I expect her team name to be "Hannah You Your Ass."

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Pis-, Pis-, Pistorius

The Court of Arbitration for Sport has overturned the IAAF's ban of Oscar Pistorius. Pistorius, who will now be able to compete for a spot in Beijing, wept with joy and relief upon hearing the news, then promptly ate a bar of the local, artisanal Swiss chocolate... probably with the aid of some sort of mechanical device.

In a totally unrelated story, donations for a pending operation that I desperately need to... er... save my life, can be sent via PayPal.

And, in a third totally unrelated story, if anyone has a spare pair of Nickelodeon Moon-Shoes in their basement or garage that they no longer want or need, please e-mail me and I will be happy to take them off your hands.

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If Endurance Sports Were a Monthly "Graphic Novel"

Behold: Denis Nizhegorodov.

The picture to the left appeared on the IAAF website in conjunction with the 23rd World Race Walking Cup, which, as you all know, was held in Cheboksary this past weekend. I know I don't even need to point out in what country one can find Cheboksary.

Having seen the old WR obliterated, the headline over the photo read "Super-human Nizhegorodov hammers Deakes' World record into history." Now I imagine many of you have already begun poo-pooing the notion that there could be anything the least bit super-human about the activity of walking. But there is! Read on, fair reader, to discover why the Supermanesque red and blue of Nizhegor-whatever's kit, is really so very fitting...

"Super-human" - from the Latin for "really good human." As we all know from popular culture, to be consider "super-human," a person must possess a mind and/or body which exceeds that of a typical human. In this case, Nizhegor-god-that's-a-mouthful can lay claim on account of both mind and body. Below, we break down the above photo:

To quote the IAAF recap: "mental steel reinforced with iron thread..."

To be sure, after bringing home this WR, Nizhegorodov's existence promises to be little more than "workloads" and "insertion points" for the foreseeable future.

Americans, prepare to fear "Sputnizhegorodov"... this Russian satellite will be made exclusively of Denis' bones, and once it's up in space, there's no telling when, or where it will strike...











See, you learn something new everyday.







Hey-O!

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Familiar Faces in Fedinburgh

Ever since the Marathon Trials, Ben has been saying Out-With-The-Old. Naturally, I tried to remind him how strong someone like Adam Goucher looked as recently as Outdoor Nationals in 2007. You see, I believe that select old farts may still have a trick or two up their collective sleeves. I'm just hoping that trick is not one of my grandpa's personal favorites: namely an old fart, itself... released only after beckoning me over as if he had a juicy secret to tell and had a firm grip on my arm so I couldn't run away from the stink.

Now, my counterpart will gladly say that in any contemporary race, he'd take an Andrew Carlson over an Alan Culpepper... a James Carney over a Dan Browne... a Ryan Bak over a re-animated Glenn Cunningham. I would point out that he also takes no-reach-around over a reach-around as proof that his judgment is often less than sound... but no matter. The bottom line is that the US squad traveling to Edinburgh this weekend is the team that could ultimately show whether there's any weight to the much-trumpeted US distance running resurgence.

This year's group is essentially a team of our Tier 2 guys, at least in terms of track PRs. Consider their lack of world-level accomplishments and I think we can safely call it Tier 2b. The successes Hall and Webb have had the past 12 months will be remembered as nothing but singular talents heating up, unless this new era of ballyhooed depth eventually puts up and shows that the US, as a whole, is in a better place than it was over the past two decades. And thus, Edinburgh is proving grounds #1 as a pair of domestically-brewed NCAA Cross champs with limited international cachet lead a troupe of athletes that the Euros and East Africans could easily mistake for a bunch of guys who bought US kits on Ebay and snuck onto the starting line.

Come Sunday, in addition to seeing whether 2008 is, indeed, Year Zero in American Distance Running Post African Dominance... when you're scanning the results this weekend, here are some other familiar names to look for after the cadre of East Africans up front:

• Craig Mottram - AUS (Maybe you've heard of him)
• Andrew Letherby - AUS - (fixture on US scene)
• Andrew Ledwith - Rep of Ire (cum Iona)
• Alistair Cragg - Rep of Ire (Arkansas)
• Keith Kelly - Rep of Ire (Providence)
• Vinny Mulvey - Rep of Ire (Iona)
• Marilson dos Santos - BRA (2006 NYC Champ)
• Dylan Wykes - CAN (Providence)
• Tom Lancashire - Mediocre Britain (FSU)
• Andrew Lemoncello - Mediocre Britain (FSU)
• Cleveland Ford - Guyana (Just 'cause)

Will the US guys be distracted by this Guyanese runner who I'm absolutely certain must look exactly like the same-named character from Family Guy? We shall see. Ultimately, Edinburgh is the perfect chance for us 'Mericans to lose the bally and just start hooing.

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Just Another Web Tease

So I saw an IAAF headline declaring that "Tadese is the biggest 'pin-up' for Edinburgh school kids." Fool that I am, I thrilled at the expectation of a story on some new, young, spicy, nubile, and board-game-loving Ethiopian running sensation, along the lines of Ms. Dibaba here.

How wrong I was. The title was a stupid pun! They made a billboard out of the Tadese that we all already knew about - big whoop! And the story on it included a picture of him that wasn't even a proper pin-up!

So to right that wrong, I have provided the picture to the left: a little something for, well, I'm not really sure if it's for the ladies or the menfolk... Either way, feel free to download and set as your desktop.

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What They Didn't Tell You: March 10th

Gate River Run down in J-Ville. IAAF Indoor Worlds in "V-Ville" (at least, that's what I understand the Spanish call Valencia over there). In other words, a big weekend with lots of results, lots of stories, and lots of information to fall through the cracks. What They Didn't Tell You about this past weekend, after the jump...

With an 8:48 clocking in her prelim at Worlds, former WVU runner Megan Metcalfe broke the Canadian national record by 2 seconds for the indoor 3000m. But another Canadian record fell this weekend, and also in a prelim, of sorts: Reid Coolsaet covered 15k faster than any Canadian previous, while scouting the Gate River Run course. Albeit on his skateboard.

Tariku Bekele turned in a dominating performance to win the 3k at Worlds, with a strong push from around 800m out in which he clipped off a bunch of laps in the neighborhood of 29 seconds. But sadly, after the race, Tariku's mother reassured the press that she still loves Kenenisa more.

Christian Cantwell and Reese Hoffa went 1-2 in the Shot Put at Worlds. But also, ben's Fearless Prediction for their Spanish escapades played out exactly to form.

In the women's 60H, the US also made a clean sweep. And, after the race, my Fearless Prediction for LoLo Jones' Spanish escapades -- which ben had wisely censored via omission, asking "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" -- also played out exactly to form. In my head.

Soybeaneva won Indoor Worlds in a WR time (3:57.71) for one-and-one-half kilometers. In the men's 1.5k, Ethiopia's Mekonnen met the tape, was DQ'd (with the title temporarily passing to Dan Komen), then won an appeal and was reinstated as the winner. [ Lame joke about hanging chads ommitted ]

Abubaker Kaki, an 18-yr-old Sudanese up-and-comer, won the 800 in Valencia, the hardest way possible: wire-to-wire. While running backwards. And wearing a blindfold.

Andrew Carlson beat Deena Kastor in the Gate River Run equalizer race, passing the female star even after she was spotted a five minute headstart. Once again, male gender superiority was officially affirmed.

And finally, in the destined-to-be apocraphyl story from the weekend, Brian Sell was hit by a tree and suffered many scrapes, but solidered on, never one to let bodily harm affect his performance. However, what they didn't tell you was that, in the story, "tree" was merely used as synecdoche for a 2x4 which jammed and kicked back in the power saw at Home Depot while Sell was assisting a customer. Gots ta pay those billz.

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Indoor Worlds Results Update 2

Drama in the 1500; Americans in the Women's 60H and Shot

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Indoor Worlds Results Update

Noteable results, as of 10am Saturday Morning ('Merican time), after the jump:


-- Fasuba (NGR), Kim Collins, Dwain Chambers medal in the 60. Fasuba's time is a WL of 6.51, while Collins and Chambers are clocked in the same 6.54. Michael Rodgers was 4th. Also Greg Nixon failed to advance in the 400, with David Neville moving through the primary round in 47.43.

-- That, on the heels of Angela Williams putting the rest of the world in its place with a WL win in the women's 60.

--No Americans advanced in the 1500:
H2 4. Rob Myers 3:41.73 (one spot behind qualifying)
H1 7. Russell Brown 3:47.19
Kipchirchir Komen led H2 wire to wire, with Ramzi and Youssef Baba among the other notable finalists.

--Americans are well positioned for 800 semis:
H4 1. Nick Symmonds 1:49.30
H5 2. Khadevis Robinson 1:49:33
Each has the 2nd fastest SB and PB in his heat, though, obviously, only by a matter of tenths. Also, Milkevics advanced, but Moise Joseph did not.

--And, the final big story, Robles did not advance in the 60H.

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IAAF Hates the Disabled

Is that OK? Can I say "disabled"? Or is it "slightly less-abled, in certain specific ways that are dependent on physical characteristics typically found in a majority of the populace"? The IAAF ruled today that Oscar Pistorius is a persona non grata, as far as its competitions are concerned. The ruling made the frontpage of NYTimes.com for a portion of the morning and apparently "hinged" on energy absorption ratios in Pistorius' j-blades versus the human ankle. (Get it? "Hinged?")

What I found FAR more interesting, though, is that the Times built a slideshow comparing the "muscle" systems in Pistorius and those in, shall we say "traditional"? human legs. Without asserting it outright, the captions in the slideshow clearly suggest that someone at the Times thinks Pistorius is actually at a significant disadvantage and is getting screwed. I'm surprised that a major (the major?) paper would give the story such coverage, let alone care enough to position itself on one side of the debate or the other.

Then again, I can see their point: I've used something similar to the j-blade and must admit they didn't make me any faster.

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