You see, the day I turned 15 years old, I felt a stinging during urination. Since I had just finished my Catholic high school's mandatory sexual education course, "For Everyone. Abstain. REALLY!" or F.E.A.R. for short, I knew that such stinging could only be the result of sexual deviance. Or, since it was me as a 15 year old, the thought of sexual deviance.
Anyway, I was sure that my young life was soon to be taken by some mutant, indestructible form of syphilis. As such, I made a list of all the things I wanted to do before I died. As you can see, I'm still working on most of them but, thankfully, it turned out you can't get syphilis from thinking about something, so I have plenty of time. The complete list is after the jump.